maverick thinking

Patience.

2012-01-11T11:58:00.000-08:00

It hurts a lot each time I reflect back upon my time at my previous job that was spent hearing my Mgmt asking me to be patient ...

No one told me to take it easy when I was putting in those extra hours and breaking new ground. Why then, when I asked for personal progress in return? How the fuck can they expect me to be patient when each time I leave after a trip home ... I leave a doting mother teary-eyed at her door?! #lividwithfrustration

My biggest mental obstacle at 27 is that I want to go places, meet people, build lasting legacies ... not for money, no! ... and yet, I see my parents aging with each year and going through the rigors of a middle class life by themselves. Their years won't wait for my return!

I'm on the verge of leaving home once again; for another job. It's getting tougher and tougher each time.

Post-Google Hangover? The High Never Ended!

2012-01-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

This is a story I shall live to tell.

IMP : People always laughed when I said "buying branded clothes is an investment for me" :-)

Having resigned at and reconciled with Google, I went into my final mid-December Annual India Sales Conference with a very open mind ... and deep down - with immense gratitude and nostalgia over the 5.5 years that had gone by.

Day 1

MD Google India, Rajan Anandan is hosting a fire-side chat with 3 hot-shot Entrepreneurs from the wild India start-up industry. He's a top Angel Investor himself, and had stake in all 3 of these ventures.

{I had shared a good rapport with him these last few months and talked to him about my quitting and interest in working with smaller setups in the industry.}

I walk up with a question for Sunjay Guleria, CEO Exclusively.in who was sporting a tee which looked like the Ralph Lauren Big Pony Racing collection. {Mind you, I'm a Ralph addict and own enough to know one when I see it. He seemed to be wearing an Indian version, so I kept wondering how come I'd missed an 'India' edition from the maker!}

Rajan : (in front of ~1300 people, with me on camera) What are you doing here, I thought you'd already quit to join a start-up?!

Rahul : (FML, he didn't just announce that!) I'm looking for Angel Investors Rajan :-)
{Anyway}

Rahul : (looking at Sunjay on the stage) Uhhh, Saannjee ... ev ... right? I'm a big Ralph Lauren Big Pony collection fan, and see that you're creating something inspired from it. (senses uneasiness all around with this statement) I had written to Ralph Lauren while in the US, asking them about entering India and how I'd love to apply for a Marketing / Store Manager role with them! Sadly, I don't have a background in the sector and didn't stand a chance even in early talks.

(consolation sake) Are you going to be setting up physical stores too?

Sunjay : ... ... (talks about being inspired by RL and wanting to create an Indian brand as iconic; about how ecomm companies don't need physical stores! {OBVIOUSLY!}; and the fact that he was wearing his own brand 'Sher Singh', which he wishes to create India's first global lifestyle brand out of)

Later that evening I caught-up with Sunjay over drinks. We realized there was much in common when it came to brand following and connection over his cause (Sher Singh). He also realized I had quit Google and in the market. We talked, drank, fooled around all night ... and almost knew right there ... this was just meant to happen.

Fast forward 3 weeks and I'm on the verge of joining Sunjay's vision and team in Delhi. He's got a solid team in place, enough financial backing now, and a platform waiting to be explored with courage and commitment.

I had planned to end my Google stint on Dec 30 and leave Hyderabad on Dec 31 for a brand new 2012. I had no clue it was all going to get this new, but!!! I thought it'd be Bangalore, home, family, friends and GMAT prep. for a few months and maybe I'll find something interesting to keep the business aptitude in place. Man, I had even planned football coaching for my school team on the side.

In the mean while, I've had another very enticing job offer materialize right in my comfort zone, here in Bangalore ... and yet my mind is committed to the 'first global apparel brand from India' dream. There's too much stacked in favor of that from a destiny angle for me to ignore it. 5.5 years down, it's Robert Frost and his lines again :-) It's a big leap of faith and hopefully this will turn out to be a great story of lasting contribution and life-long learning!

(I still can't truly express in words what Google meant and will mean to me. Best to leave it to my actions, efforts and career trail to do justice to that bond.)

Amen.

My Google. July 3, 2006 - Dec 30, 2011.

2012-01-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

{I can safely say now that I saw this coming on the back of my previous post. Something changed on Oct 6, 2011 for me.}

I finally put down my papers at an organisation I was living and breathing for over 5 years. It felt strange for a bit. It was a snap decision early November when something I had passionately chased for a while, didn't come my way. To see my Mgmt failing to back me in a fierce battle for spots on a sought after annual course, finally made me realize that if I wasn't in the right place sitting and eating with the right people ... even Google wasn't going to be fair to my aspirations.

It was time to move on. To go out there and see if all the struggle for learning and experience was worth it. To leave the comfort zone that Google and the city of Hyderabad had become. Well ... discomfort to be true to myself.

What next? There was much I could build upon, plan for, pass time constructively via. Home and Bangalore beckoned.

I'll save the emotions for another post. My farewell email then :

Hi,

I am writing this email to you because at some point in my time at Google I've shared a meaningful/memorable conversation/moment with you. As I approach my last day in official capacity here, December 30, 2011, I wanted to drop a note of gratitude.

I leave because I felt the time was finally right to apply my incubation-like experience here to less conventional and more needy environments outside. Surely Google and all of you will have many better times to come, yet I'll look back at these 5.5 years with immense satisfaction and take just enough inspiration from them to keep myself chugging along.

This was my first job and I've seen enough within and outside to know that from a pure intellectual and social development opportunity perspective, this environment is arguably unmatched across the globe. I say *opportunity* because it still needs a fair amount of chasing at the individual level to feel the true Google spirit and learning. Hope you all get a feel of that spirit during your time here and continue to grow personally and professionally in life ahead.

Thanks for being a part of my growth! For the rest of my life I will say with pride and a smile - "Yes! I worked at Google."

I head home to Bangalore for now. Please stay in touch over phone (will update my new # on facebook and g+ soon), email (rahul.libra@gmail.com), in person, on facebook / g+ or via LinkedIn.

Warmest regards,

Steve Jobs. 1955 - 2011.

2011-10-06T00:49:00.000-07:00

Jobs comes closest to what I want to be in my life. Remembered.

It's difficult to find the right mentor in this oft-selfish corporate world. So I started seeking inspiration from everything Steve Jobs a couple of years ago - and it was such exhilaration. I have never used an Apple product, and may never. It doesn't matter.

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do ... If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on."

His life has taught me a very important lesson. You won't become a legend without going through your share of struggles. Whether it was his personal or professional life, Jobs had his fair share of hassles, issues and detractors.

Does it matter today though? He has been relieved of his struggles. Elevated to much deserved immortal greatness.

All this on a day when a dear friend is getting engaged, and my mother celebrates her Birthday. I woke up seeing the news on my phone ... and the thought hasn't left me. I don't know if I've lost a mentor, or have one immortalized. All I know is - I feel a little lonely. Something snapped inside of me.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

You will never die for me Steve, as I've never seen you live. My only regret now is that I never will ...

Random Independence.

2011-08-14T04:43:00.000-07:00

It's August 14 and I have become a restless brain lately. I have also missed writing here. Maybe there's a co-relation.

Work has completely ruled my thoughts in the last few months and while I try to catch-up on reading, writing, socializing, football, the gym, my friends, family et al, it's been a painful ride. I don't think I have seen much return yet, but trying to shape the lives and careers of 50 people with your undying passion and thinking prowess can be rewarding. Certainly is tiring.

I have tried to up-grade the quality of my daily life. Some good books and magazines have helped. Furniture is soon becoming a fantasy!

Ah, just when the wonderful friendship of Gregory David Roberts was fading away, I now have Howard Roark teaming up with Henry Cameron and Peter Keating teaming up with Guy Francon, willingly entertain me each weekend. Needless to say, if you've read this blog, you know which partnership I'm siding with.

Ok ok, I must add the company of Cristina Hendricks too! Smokin'.

The more I see wrong around me, the more restless and passionate it makes me. I want to go change it. Somehow the main-stream doesn't excite me too much lately. All I want is to be able to live my own thoughts.

Life's Like That.

2011-07-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

1 year back - Arshad and Rahul are friends in Hyderabad. Martijn visits Hyderabad from Dublin and becomes good buddies with Arshad. Rahul is on his way to Phoenix and Martijn tells him about a mad Italian named Adriano who is already there. Rahul becomes good buddies with Adriano, and along comes Bertie, Adriano's ex-team-mate from Dublin. The three of them become a gang in Phoenix. Then Adriano heads to Buenos Aires and Martijn returns to Dublin. Then Rahul returns to Hyderabad and tells Arshad stories about Adriano and Bertie. Oh wait, Martijn heads to Phoenix and becomes Bertie's roomie. Now Arshad lands up in Buenos Aires and is hanging out with Adriano as Rahul see's on VC last night!

When Singapore Fascinated!

2011-06-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

On my recent (and 2nd) 6-day pleasure + work trip.

Day1.

These days even vacations are carved out of official trips. Singapore - walk drink sleep. Peace. #backpacking

Day 3.

A good Caesar's Salad is heartening. #hardrocksentosa

Day 5.

Sales. Google. Singapore. Wine. Regional catching-up. Madness! #japacsalesconference

Day 7.

Another huge step towards warming up to the culture and people of China, Japan and South-east Asia! The dance moves, the sarcasm, the accents, the sharp fashion-sense, some amazing food and the congenial demeanor. #thegooglelife

Wake up in the morning ...

2011-05-31T22:52:00.000-07:00

No this is not a Ke$ha track :-)

It's just me celebrating an early rise. I keep getting poked about my slow starts to the day. Sometimes, it gets translated to 'being late to work'.

For starters, I don't consider hitting your desk at 8 am as being at work. In fact, I'd beat most of those too, because I'm normally up before 8 am, and my mind is at work before I leave my bed. If my work's worth it, then I'm thinking about it at this point. Which means I'm already at work before I get to my workplace, right? :)

It's a matter of perception, as the corporate world disappointingly comments.

Anyway, most of my thoughts and opinions are formed during those minutes on the tea, or the WC (if you may allow me to divulge). Archimedes isn't the only one then!

I've been thinking much this morning as usual. Indian fiction, my favorite newspapers (their logo fonts!), what might be the most livable metro in India, and what is it that I've achieved in life until now.

As my facebook status reads,

"Rahul Batra is amazed by the number of links worth reading that he comes across, leading to 'The New York Times'. The Telegraph (UK), The Hindu (India), Sydney Morning Herald probably come next.

On the foreign ones, very interesting (and late) realization ... I might be falling for the bloody font!

:P"

Most livable metro - certainly not Hyderabad or Chennai. It's tough to argue your case with a Bangalore, Delhi, Mumbai or Kolkata fan though. That said, you will rarely see a Bangalorean give up on Bangalore, or move on. Despite it's traffic woes and kinder garden friendly club rules, it's a city that stays in tune with the times. It remains educated, cultural, progressive and passionate about it's best. I'll go with Delhi next, and leave Kolkata and Mumbai as good vacation options.

On the final thought, I am happy that I shall hit my 27 year with confidence and clarity on my likes and dislikes. I can manage a conversation and I'm willing to learn. I'm fairly good with choices; just that I end up getting stuck on the final 2 in most cases.

Up-market Woes.

2011-04-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

Reflecting the thoughts of Gucci's CEO:

India is a land of much taste, style and buying potential. What lacks is the infrastructure. You need restaurants, walkways and transport to support an environment where luxury can thrive.

The "free for all" and "who cares" attitude kills it here! Everyone wants to blend in ... why is standing apart a taboo?!

I see good restaurants looking trashy as a result. I see branded stores looking alike and stocking old collections, not bothering about the seeking fashion fan. Dust everywhere.

Man, I'm scared to wear a decent white shirt in my office transport every morning. Basically, to wear good clothes, I now need to buy a car :P What the heck.

Shantaram.

2011-03-20T17:46:00.000-07:00

Finished the novel today after close to 10 months of free-willed reading spurts. As I plan to leave this piece behind with my colleagues and friends at my workplace in the US, which I shall be departing soon after 6 glorious months, I want to savor the last few lines:

"I'd always thought that fate was something unchangeable: fixed for every one of us at birth, and as the circuit of the stars. But I suddenly realized that life is stranger and more beautiful than that. The truth is that, no matter what kind of game you find yourself in, no matter how good or bad the luck, you can change your life completely with a single thought or a single act of love."

I don't know if I'm happy that I've read a book so rich in realism, or sad that it's over.

Men, Women & Ideas.

2011-03-13T12:36:00.000-07:00

‎"I'm not a joiner. I never found a club or clan or idea that was more important to me than the men and women who believed in it." - Shantaram

I thought this was true till I realized, men and women come and go. They falter, and vitiate. You have to hold on to your own allegiances strong. And sometimes you have to let go because men and women come in the way, only to find another way back.

Some clear examples of the above in my own life:

Manchester United. 10 million fans on facebook. Faster than any other sports page on it. I didn't start with being a fan of the Devils, instead, I was Beckham's fan. Men and women. At the point I was a Real Madrid fan, a Juventus fan. Juventus, thanks to Del Piero. Men and women.

But soon I realized that the philosophy at Old Trafford was too close to the fabric I'm made of, for me to not join it. 8 odd years on, I'm a die-hard fan of the club and everything associated. For good measure.

Google. I joined when the company had 5k employees. Today it's over 25k people strong. In my 5 years I've seen many a people come and go. I've suffered at the hands of few, I've battled the obstacles created by few. I've never lost faith in the idea that Google remains for me. I've let go of my attachment a few times thanks to some lesser mortals having come in the way. Men and women.

And very recently, some men and women have re-instilled that faith and given me the kind of support I've been looking for.

The 'Windy City' !

2011-03-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

Morning 1 in Chicago : Optimistic walk. Drizzle. Snow. Starbucks. In that order.

Chicago felt like a Hollywood film in real motion. A big budget, multi-starer, foggy snowy winter setting with flashbacks to the gangster town it once was.

Wow moment: 2 storied Ralph Lauren super-store (museum?!) with adjoining Bar and Grill. Being a fan of the brand, I was pure stunned with the range of apparel, accessories and collectibles on offer. There were collections from times bygone, and rooms dedicated to the culture called 'Ralph Lauren'! Of course I shopped ... for what else ... a neat (and very expensive) dress shirt from their Black Label range.

Oh, saw this up-market car showroom, with a Ferrari 430 standing in the snow outside. And the $300k Black Bentley Supersport inside was a complete dream.

Day 2:

At the Museum of Science and Industry, got a chance to get on-board 1 of the 5 (museum ships and exhibit) surviving German U-boats from WW2. ~1200 were made in all. 2 remain in Germany, 1 in England, 1 in Finland.

Not much else was worth the $23 ticket in the museum, apart from the section on shipping and it's development over the last 2 centuries which got me mighty interested after a second look.

Day 3:

Cabbed it to Lincoln Park, a quieter neater older area in North Chicago. Walked the cold to get a feel of the line of eclectic shops and the small wonders on show here and there.

Saw the amazing 'Black Swan' in a red brick theater in old Chicago today. Ended the day drinking on the 95th floor of the 6th tallest building in USA, with a stunning view and an irresistible Romanian accent from the server.

Day 4:

Though I was hitting that mood on the trip where too much touristy behavior and window shopping start feeling mundane, I'd read enough about the Art Institute of Chicago to not miss it despite the odds.

Having left that 1 hr 35 min well behind now, I'll safely say that it was perhaps the best Art Gallery experience ever! Sure, the Art Gallery of New South Wales, Sydney will be a close close second. Fabulous collection of French (Renoir, Sisley and Monet!) and European Impressionist, Modern European (Picassos) and classic American paintings.

A final shopping trip did bag me my elusive fit in jeans ... from a maker I've been wearing for years but had forgotten to check in the States, Levi's of course. Phew! Good Asian food to close out the trip and a much needed holiday had left me all smiles. Wait, did I miss my flight on the return :P Hell, part of the excitement let's say!

Afterthought:

Looking at my facebook page makes me wonder why everyone is asking, "Are you returning from America?" :-) Maybe because I've been mighty impressed with what Chicago had to offer! Well, of course I am. I'm playing this game called life with a plan, and regular quality time with the people and in the county that define the best and worst in me, remain at the center of that plan.

Don't Judge a Shoe ...

2011-02-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

by it's price or sheen!

Particularly when you'll be running, walking trails or kicking soccer balls for maximum impact. Despite the fact that I get amazed by the limit to which shoes can be a women's weakness, I was always of the belief "You can judge a man by his shoes." on the side ;-)

With that I began my shoe-hunt a month or so ago. I'd needed a sleek casual one, which Aldo duly helped out with. The blue suede moccasin has received everything but fortunate environments. The fun lay in my research for a good running/hiking/soccer shoe.

I thought of the old favorites - Nike Free and Presto, adiZero from adidas and a bunch of others. I almost fell for a lower version of Cristiano's Nike Mercurial soccer cleats too.

Then a couple of serious athlete colleagues here in the US made significant suggestions. When thinking soccer cleats - don't think synthetic, leather has to feel better! My word it does. And when thinking trail/running, certainly go in for an established running brand with enough cushion. Out went my Nike Free dream again :P

Sense prevailed. More money was spent than planned.

RED adidas Predators from the Beckham collection were bagged. Comfort and feel on the foot par excellence. Early touches on the ball - aahh, that Beckham 'wrap your foot around the ball' seems possible soon! Had almost picked up a good reasonable pair of New Balance trail runners when the store guy suggested that I shouldn't think beyond these asics. Tried them, couldn't believe how wonderful they felt ... hit the field within an hour of the buy, satisfaction confirmed! The Gel heel and overall sole comfort is great.

Nike still remains a favorite in Sports 'wear', but I'm surely going to rely more on the other established names in shoes from here.

Time to start serious work on those lower back muscles!

Thanks Eric.

2011-01-21T07:08:00.001-08:00

And so 2011 starts with a bang!

I'm still in America ... beginning to gain control of my work and finances ... and Google has a new CEO.

{In another post, I'd like to analyze 2010 and the impact it's had on me. I'd ended 2009 quite disappointed, and being away from family and friends, a little lonely too. This time around, a well executed holiday in San Diego (California) at the turn of the year on the back of general satisfaction did me good!}

Surprisingly, Google's still at the center of much of my thoughts. Haah! 4.5 years clocked.

It's funny how the media is speculating on Eric's departure as something Larry & Sergey have been needing for a while, to come out of his supervision. I can't comment on that aspect, but L & S rarely represented the company in the media. Those who've heard Eric Schmidt at his best will agree - he's razor sharp and witty, and very inspiring at most times.

Change doesn't always have to be punitive. On most days in Google, when smart people use their brain - it's often progressive.

In other news -

The 5 words most commonly used by extroverted bloggers are "bar," "other," "drinks," "restaurant," and "dancing," according to a study of the personalities and writings of 700 bloggers by Tal Yarkoni, a psychology and neuroscience postdoctoral fellow at the University of Colorado. By examining language use and personality types, Yarkoni also found that the top five words used by conscientious people are "completed," "adventure," "stupid," "boring," and "adventures."

Well, at least I've spared myself that routine in the above post. As I stand on the cusp of a huge dream and desire, I wanted to have a quick chat with my online pal here - my blog :-)

Solitude in Chaos.

2010-12-11T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today, while a couple of good pals here are on a wild trip to L.A., I'm in the midst of a classic sober weekend and felt like reflecting back on recent happenings.

The mood's been pampered heavily. By an article on the 96 year old Indian writing legend Khushwant Singh in my national daily ... surely the tangy Riesling courtesy Sofia Ford Coppola (yes, Francis' daughter!) ... or the tasty 2 day old thai curry and jasmine rice on the plate. Maybe even the subject of my novel and soon-to-be played DVD (Al Pacino, haah!).

Just when I was preparing myself for the cold amazements of New York City, followed by the heart-warming return to family back home in Bangalore (India) ... my supposed-to-be 3 month stay in the US has been extended to six. In the build up to the decision which involved some collective opinion coming together, I admit I was quite excited about getting to - continue the good work I'd started here and see/feel more of America ...

Khushwant's words on solitude being centric to quality writing and the need for training oneself on finding mental solitude in the middle of physical chaos seems to have struck a chord. Come to think of it, my job these days requires just that. It's taken a slight toll on me with a sudden switch in the attitude of people I was swearing by. Seems like I called it upon myself. By often going too far in supporting and appreciating a line of thought, I often leave myself with few options to return. A pause in the fast lane is considered criminal; hence the afterthought.

America's looking lovely at this time of the year. Families decorating their homes for Christmas all around, weddings, shopping, holidays et al. India does come to mind everyday. {Solitude training coming in handy now :-)} The new camera I acquired has pleasantly reignited my love for the lens.

Change does make a huge impact on the biggest of passions, I realized. At work, in people and environments, weather even.

Silicon Valley.

2010-11-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

The sun is bright and there's a chill in the air. The jackets are out, suits visibly ironed and on show! Geeky engineers and suave businessmen zipping around in BMWs and Porsches.

The autumn colors add their charm to the intense technology rivalries between some of the biggest names around - Google, Microsoft, Apple and Orange (oops, facebook!). You walk by Orkut (the guy who's name the Google Social Network was based on, designed by him of course) in a store, and Nikesh Arora (swashbuckling Global Sales and Biz Dev head of Google Inc.) in the washroom - just like that.

Notably, there's a special buzz in the talks of foreigners (certainly Indians) in the pubs and restaurants lining one the most known streets in this area, 'Castro' ... a celebration of having made it till here.

I've spent some quality time in the US thus far. Loved the fun and frolic feel of Vegas, the touristy open feel of San Francisco, but, Mountain View and Palo Alto have formed a connection with me in a special manner.

Evenings are quiet and serene here. You can almost hear the fans of millions of systems cooling each byte of information ruthlessly processed by the brains staying back late at work. This area belongs to belongs to dreamers. To thinkers, doers and achievers. To decision makers and competition killing leaders.

Google.

2010-11-22T14:02:00.000-08:00

I'd like to keep this post simple, true to it's title's values and ideology.

Traditional in my likes, I've always desired a campus life. Even if it meant getting institutionalized to an extent. However, when you sign up to carry an institution's name (and everything it brings along) on yourself , you want to think twice about who you sign up with.

Having spent my first 4 years in the corporate world at my current employer, I was bound to go through phases of maturity - some good, some not. You're only learning the game, after all.

However, standing in the heart of Google Inc.'s headquarters in Mountain View, California today has finally made me realize that I chose that tag well. This place epitomizes the warmth with which this company has gone about maintaining it's vision, and ensured the comfort of it's brand ambassadors (employees) in process ...

I'll write about Vegas and San Francisco soon. For now, I'll simply take a walk in the fabulous colors of fall, all around the serene campus of the biggest revolution my age has seen - Google.

Amen.

We - The UN ;-)

2010-10-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

What happens when a German, French, Indian and Italian decide to host an Italian team dinner? The German gets his beer and lays out the meat. The Italian and the French chop tomatoes to the tune of salsa. The Indian (me) quietly followed orders and drank his red wine.

The last couple of weeks have been a blinder!

From asking out gorgeous nurses (attending a national conference in Phoenix downtown) for drinks on consecutive nights to releasing the shopping budget finally.

Just got back from a 3-4 day pleasure cum work off-site trip (with my office group here) to Sedona and the Grand Canyon ... {speechless} ...

Having read and heard so much about Sedona I was happy that some of the anticipation stayed as we landed in town after sunset. Why? Sedona, famous for it's red rock formations and ranges - kept it's treasures looming in the dark! Morning came and took my breath away! As a fellow traveler put it - "Photos can never do justice to such wonders as the 3D effect of things natural and gigantic is unmatched."

The Grand Canyon ... man! There's something absolutely thrilling and humbling about such expansive geography around you, especially at night; it keeps you in knowledge of the giant asleep outside your door :-) I had a room on the South Rim and to give you a faint idea - a rim to rim hike from top to base to top is close to 40-50 miles (or ~70-80 kms) ... ... ! The only thing you see on the horizon is the Canyon ... ...

We did a 4 hour, 6 mile (9.6 km) hike down to the second post from our rim on a popular trail called the Bright Angel. I returned hungry, thirsty, breathless, tired. I returned ALIVE!

I've been eating all sorts of cuisines and trying every light beer/wine I see around me. I'm picking up funny terms in Italian and basic ones in American English.

What makes life special is that I'm seeing sweet success in motivating, leading and helping my team here sell and make money via a product I've come to be fairly passionate about over the last 4 years - Google AdWords. As an Indian employee (earning peanuts in Rs.) who isn't even on a variable salary component unlike every person in the 150 member Sales program I'm on, I take immense pride in knowing the fact that my Coaching efforts will earn more dollars for my team members, their company and my company. I take more pride in using the word 'Indian' here.

A chilled beer in the hot tub (pool) in my complex this evening capped off all of the above, very well. A friend from childhood is in town and I'm hoping she'll add just enough flavor to the above in the coming week. One, only a lovely Indian lady can!

Amen.

"Sporcaccione!"

2010-10-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

No other word could describe the overall feeling one week into my American sojourn. As my Italian mentor has ensured everyone exclaims ... "Sporcaccione!" ... is loosely translated to 'huge dirty'. WAIT. In a nice way, we use this term for everything that's a huge hit! A team-mates very cute (but very little) dog included.

The houses, bars, restaurants, malls, roads, cars here in dessert land are plain expansive!

Coming from a Brit-bred culture the people around me are equally stunned with my driving as they are with my 'bed-tea' routine. Turns out - no one drives right handed and on the left side of the road in this country ... and well, no one wakes up to hot tea! {Whatever!} The fact that I manage to make my tea and am getting better on the sleek black Volkswagen Jetta is ensuring general happiness.

Everyone loves Mexican food and light beers (Coors, Millers, Dos Equis) though. Nachos and Tacos are everywhere. Caesar salad and fresh fruit (Strawberries!) is keeping the fiber and vitamin balanced, considering people eat 18 (figurative) meat meals a day otherwise.

My work-group has a good laugh at me and themselves when we sit together to watch the sitcom 'Outsourced', which is now 3 episodes down and mutually a Thursday evening get together plan.

Ok ok - time for some fashion!

For starters - Arizona is hot and dry, so men like to roam around in shorts and flip flops ... and (hot/cute) women - let's just say dress progressively ;-) Me and my French teammate hit upmarket Arizona yesterday, an area called Scottsdale - known for it's expensive offerings on the f&b, entertainment and shopping front. We spent 7 hours looking around! While neither was keen to enter the mega brands (been there, done that) ... we were very keen to try out the known American fashion labels.

Old Navy, American Eagle, and Hollister are much talked about but hardly a draw in my opinion (shrugs).

- Enter Abercrombie & Fitch for tees and jeanswear!

- Enter Banana Republic for casuals and semi-formals!

- Enter Kenneth Cole for classy blacks, blues and greys in formal and clubwear!

- AND above all, the one brand I'm happily willing to spend my hard-earned Indian Currency (47:1 to a dollar!) on, just as excitedly as I would on Indian food here - remains Polo by Ralph Lauren! Sporcaccione!

Unfortunately my overflowing curiosity to seek out everything foreign has landed me with a sore left eye (I swear I wasn't winking much!) because of my under-blinking I guess! Time to give it a break from the computer screen. Off I go looking for that 'huge dirty' Sunday brunch!

PS - Arizona doesn't need a gun license so every 5th guy here carries one on him. Also, leaving your shoes out in the open is a good way to offer a home to some over-friendly Scorpions. @#$%!

Anticipating America.

2010-10-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

As I get done with my first 24 hours in America, I have one world for the last 48 hours that I've spent en route and here - convenient.

Flying Business Class saved me the pain of a 28 hour journey from Hyderabad to Phoenix, and how! Dubai had me gaping out of the plane window and wishing that I manage to afford the opulence someday, even if it's short-lived. Bloody hell the place is a construction miracle! The airport was quite lovely but very crowded with people rushing or spending big bucs - not my comfort zone. Certainly not an environment in which I could have bought the $200 'to-die-for' Emporio Armani Grey dress-shirt :-/

The 16 hour flight from Dubai to SFO was a luxury as Sweet Sheery, Dessert Wines & Dark Chocolates ensured I stay dazed throughout. A couple of good English flicks in-between stretched out naps made things comfy. The fun part was - India all over - be it an article on 'Outsourced' and all things dealing with life in the Indian IT Era in the International Herald Tribune, the Brits talking the Commonwealth Games in Delhi or the Aussie neighbor sighing over 8 wickets that were lost on the day in the on-going test series!

The much heard of SFO city came by next. The fact that I couldn't stand up for the final 2 hours in-flight once we were in US Air-space turned up the anticipatory breath surely! Being in-transit, I could only stand at the exits of some terminals to enjoy the characteristic SF bay breeze in bright sun light ... aahhh. Cannot. wait. to. return!

A thunder storm awaited at the Phoenix airport ... haah ... bring it on said the kid in me! Couple of team mates picked me up, gave me a bit to shower up and join them for my first meal in America - local beer and greasy ham burger with coleslaw ;-) Lovely people both, was fun chatting up on my share of life's dishing-outs.

I feel way more confident this time around than I did on my first step abroad, in Sydney a couple of years ago. I know friendships need to be built slowly rather than me blabbering away from the start ... that the fridge needs to be stocked up with juice and milk all the time ... that you don't click everything you see at first sight as you're likely to see some again!

Thankfully Phoenix and much of Arizona on my side of the town are a welcome change from the usual city feel. No high rises, smooth wide roads, lots of dessert vegetation on the side, laid back people enjoying the sun ... and the general organised American lifestyle.

I'll end this post with a mention of the 'Mad Italian' I've just met - my mentor here, who's just returned from a 'wild' trip to Hollywood! Work starts tomorrow ... the shirts and shoes are in place ... here we go.

God Lies in Details, Yes. Life Lies in Taking That Chance!

2010-09-04T08:36:00.001-07:00

Not that I mind, as it keeps me searching and looking for the next classic - but an issue with putting in a lot of effort in acquiring something also means you're never going to be able to part with it. Even if you do, a part of you goes along :-/

Oh, I'm not talking love and relations here, really! Hardly the subject you'd wish to discuss 'acquisitions' in :P Day-to-day buys is more like my topic here.

Turns out, a couple of years ago I thought the perfect ear-phone would be one which is a 'clip on' with 'in ear plugs'. I found one for a cheap ~ 800 bucs at a local store and bagged it blind. 2 years of wear and tear ... not to mention the loudness I've subjected it to (I can see my ear drum screaming at me this minute!), and it finally gave way last week. It's not funny how paralyzed I felt w/o 'that' piece. Sure, office gave me a pair of head-weights measuring 2o kgs. Almost!

In much despair, with an open checkbook, I walked to the markets this morning ... umbrella over-head, hoping I'd find something remotely similar (nope, SAME pleasseeee!). Standing opposite a wall full of earphones in a popular store, I was amazed by the designs and the colors on display even in a commodity like this. Ok, no MBA talk here :P Sadly, the 'clip ons' were not 'in ear plug-ins' and vice-versa :-(

Just when I was settling for something with the same packing, but a different model as my previous ones (by the same brand in fact), I happened to ask the guy attending - "Boss, I see about 10 odd pieces in that row. What if you have an old piece or something ... ?" He checks. He pulls out 9. The last ... 10th one ... TURNS OUT TO BE an, hmm, THE OLD MODEL!

The yum Idli and Wada dipped in pipping HOT Sambar to the tune of some favorites on my playlist made it an afternoon to relish. The walk back in the rain, went one better.

If Beckham Could be Charmed ... Why Not Me? :-)

2010-08-20T14:26:00.001-07:00

America. I would be lying if I said I wasn't waiting for this to happen.

I'd missed a couple of chances before, but wasn't too worried as one is certain to make it there someday. What's funny is how from being all set to quit my current job for want of clearer & better opportunities, I'm now representing the same company as it's International Ambassador selection for a 2nd time (the first was for Sydney in '08). The corporate world amuses me man!

{I am particularly delighted about the fact that I'm the first person to make the 'Ambassador' grade a second time. Of course, maybe because the others who got selected once probably never thought of applying again :P}

There were numerous personal victories gained in the process, and as it draws near, I'm pretty excited about physically stepping amongst a culture and it's people that has vastly influenced the world around me.

With due respect to the Process and Job, I always felt I was more capable than doing outsourced or support work. So when Obama spoke against American companies continuing to set up Call-centers across India, I almost felt a sense of relief as I believe this business model has significantly tarnished the image of 'The Indian Employee'. Fine, it's given people a huge opportunity for early and easy employment, and business a cheap way of solving headcount expansion. But what about the life-style issues on the other hand with those night-shifts and all things related? What about being condemned to the 'back-office' status, the 'cheap-workforce' status?

No wonder it feels good to know that I, an Indian, employed at an Indian support arm of an American (& global) major, got selected to coach/supervise a bunch of Reps in market-facing roles at an American Call-center. The journey to self-realization and actualization doesn't end here though; just has another significant chapter waiting to be added and digested.

That said, I have great pals in the States ... really do respect the independent American outlook to life, and their famed University setup. The more I read, the more excited I get about the diverse geographical and cultural experiences that America offers! Yeah yeah, LA ... Vegas et all. That's the America we all know and I don't want to see, drool over and piss my hard-earned money away on! :P Ha ha ... I mean, John Denver's "Country roads ... West Virginia ... " isn't a favorite w/o reason.

Having grown up listening to Dad's collections and Springsteen's "Born in the USA" ... having known most Americans to be fervently proud of their homeland (partly because the World loves to hate America) ... I can't wait to see what America's got in store for me!

I go there with an open mind and heart. To meet, greet and put on some 'cheese and soda' weight ;-)

Jobless, but Tired ...

2010-07-21T01:48:00.000-07:00

They say job-hunting is a full-time job. Couldn't agree more considering I've been in the process for almost 3 months now. Resumes, profiles, discussions, meeting people, seeking advise, expanding networks, reading and more reading, searching and researching, applying and interviewing ... phew ...

Some places offer you the money and the role, not the credibility or brand. Some offer you brand, but no role or money. Some offer hope, dreams but no security. All of this being juggled with my own expectations and plans, and I end up with burning eyes and a tired brain each day! Can't deny the excitement this phase brings along though!

The World Cup came and went - and the most exciting bit was probably Shakira's 'Waka Waka'! Ok - Germany hammering England and Argentina in successive games deserved a mention too. {Octopus Paul who????}

Bangalore to Hyderabad has been a funny transition yet again. I left my heart there I know. A wonderful person in the Polish visitor from Google Wroclaw as my new desk-mate has been a delight. Just what the doctor had ordered in terms of a social uplift. It's been great meeting people and seeing places that have been a part of my life for the last 4 years in Hyderabad, yet, I know I'm done here ...

A time - when you stop accumulating work-ex for the sake of it and reflect on the bygones, the 'could have been' and the 'should have been' moments. When you tell yourself, you're worth more than just the brand on your resume! Has come.

Time will tell where life tilts this time. Thankfully, 10 Downing Street in Hyderabad remains as warm and welcoming a place I've seen.

I write this from my little room for 4 years in my Hyderabad flat ... one I have come to label 'My Theatre of Dreams' :-) I feel a comforting sense of confidence and motivation in this little space of mine.

Lost in Translation ...

2010-06-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

The times are such {smiles}.

I stand in the midst of many an emotion today. Having used 'QWERTY' Sony Ericssons all these years, I finally joined (fell prey to, if I may say so) to the mobile revolution after switching SIM cards from my old piece to the new company gifted Nexus One. While I cannot deny the feeling of complete awe on using this state-of-the-art Android powered instrument, I felt like a part of me was lost with the change of guard ...

You reconcile with fate when your cell phone wallpaper reads 'Water', and ripples are generated at the touch of a finger tip. You do! You end up thanking technology instead, when you see a bunch of school seniors you grew up with (15 odd years back) - all smiles and pulling each others' leg on a facebook thread!

And then I hear 'Tu hi re ...' from the all time classic (of my generation) 'Roja' on TV, and my thoughts go back to the same childhood town when all I had to think about was the evening cricket game and my homework!

Things have come a long way ... today I think of my friends and their lives, my country and it's future, England vs Germany at the World Cup Pre-quarters in 2 days, Google and it's products, my job - this and what will be the next, my career - do I even want to do an MBA and get back into the rat race?, the orphans I attended to at a charity effort last week, the city of Bangalore I never wish to leave, the life I so want to (go out there) and live ... ...

Listening to Coldplay helps. Reading the life of 'Shantaram' gives you hope in fact.

Amen.

FIFA World Cup South Africa 2010. Officially Me ...

2010-05-27T03:52:00.000-07:00

With 15 days to go, much discussion has happened. Much money has been spent. For the record - this post became necessary.

I keep getting questioned or ridiculed for supporting England. Expected, considering they are the perennial Quarter-final chokers!

I was a big fan of Italy thanks to Del Piero and Totti, and was rooting for them over England in the last World Cup (especially after all the scandals in Italian football) ... which they won! Sadly, neither of them made the squad this time. Age catches up with all of us, doesn't it.

Anyway, w/o a doubt, Spain is the best team on display this time around. Argentina's striking prowess is a dream! Brazil is ... well, Brazil :-) Then there's Holland ... wonder if it's their jersey color, or the famous 'beautiful football' philosophy that makes everyone wish them luck. Cristiano Ronal-Doh is quite something, ain't he?!

I'll watch them all, 'cos I love the game. Above all.

And then ...

I love most things British. David Beckham. Culture. Language style. Kate Winslet. Accent. Michael Owen. Beer drinking. Their football. Paul Smith. Oxford and Cambridge. Sienna Miller. London. Rain and grey. Wayne Rooney.

Football is not fashion for me. It's not even a pass-time. It's a way of life, a religion.

So much so, that I can never wish bad for Chelsea's Lampard/Terry and Liverpool's Gerrard/Carragher. Each time I see them play (fiercely contested) club football against my team (United), I see an England player playing and hope that someday, they'll play the same and win it for 'The Lions' ...

It's been 10 years since an ardent Beckham fan started supporting Manchester United/England and following football with fervor ... and this was meant to be David's last World Cup. He'd gone out of his way over the past couple of years to ensure he's in form and shape to represent his country. Flying between America, England and Italy ... spending millions on his club duties, training regimes. Then luck deserted him one last time and he was left with a broken ankle weeks before this World Cup ... ruining everything. Having played the game for all these years with utmost passion, I can only imagine what the man's going through ...

I've always been a fan, and allege it forever with the last time an Official Beckham '7' England Jersey will be printed for a World Cup squad. Yes, I got my #7! (along with Argentina's '86 World Cup winning Maradona-dedicated Jacket!)

If each player in the squad plays his best, I'm sure England will reach the Semis. Then we'll leave it to God. And Fabio Capello :-)

Here's to a fantastic 30 day celebration of 'The Beautiful Game' in the culturally vibrant South Africa!

Amen.

Dear Blog ...

2010-05-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

I've missed you to say the least. It's been close to 50 days since I last spoke to you. Justifications? Well, not really, but much has ensued for me to share with you.

Most importantly, I got an opportunity to work for 3 months from my home-town (Bangalore) with a new and much-favored process in the business world - Product Marketing. It's been another learning curve, something I never tire of! And why? At 25, being a 'jack of all trades and king of none' isn't too bad I admit - even if my hypocritical company management disagrees. It's given me immense insight into the functioning of a business, the life cycle of a product, the various stake holders in corporate decision-making etc.

I've missed being with my family in recent months (when in Hyderabad or Gurgaon). Also, my younger Sister finally leaves home to pursue her higher studies in a month, and I complete the magical figure of 4 years with Google in India in 2 months from now. Being at home for this 3-month phase was therefore perfect timing!

School pals in town have made each outing on weekends absolutely special! Bangalore being big on the 'drink and conversation' culture, I've totally settled down to it's charms. Must mention my lengthy debate with my pals over the Shashi Tharoor-Lalit Modi controversy :) Being an ardent fan of Tharoor's global credentials and writings, I wasn't quite ready to blame the guy for the media furor he's being causing for a while. Did give it some thought, put the larger scenario in perspective, realized my pals were talking sense, and finally figured that Mr. Tharoor had much to prove to the Indian audiences before taking their support for granted.

I'm sure we'll see more of him in the future though, and hopefully positive. Would be a big disappointment if not.

It's been great catching up with many ex-Googlers in town and seeing first-hand - how life outside of Google can be a stark contrast, but surely a welcome reality! I'm beginning to get sick of the corporate wars shaping up between Microsoft, Google and Apple lately because they're looking more and more like ego-battles rather than progressive leadership. Pity.

That said, business remains a favored subject lately. It's interesting to note the dynamic movements of so many pieces - human, technological, economic, social, cultural - that drive a business each day!

Manchester United still makes me stay a die-hard soccer fan, what with their injury time drama ... almost every bloody game! And with the World Cup around a month away ... :-)

So what's amiss - a travel story to tell I'd say. Yeah, about time I plan my next sojourn ... the sight of empty bags and unused camera memory makes me itch!

Renewing Vows.

2010-03-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

{Background: I probably played my last football tourney with my work mates recently ... the Google Football League ... which was a stunning success of a concept, with people enjoying their evenings celebrating The Beautiful Game at office. My team had a heart-breaking departure from the league matches and missed the Semis by a whisker :( While I was fairly good considering my long hiatus from the game, and an over-doze of pain-killers in my system :P I was a shadow of my former self and couldn't inspire my team to expected heights.}

You win some, you lose some. Sometimes it's fate that chooses to ignore you. Sometimes it's your own body that gives up. You take the hits. You go on to dig deeper for that little extra. You keep coming back. It gives you what no drug can, it takes away what no love can.

I can safely say at this stage that I've played my heart out at two games - football and life - and I prefer the former any day! :P

{Today, I don't care when my next promotion or salary hike in life will be ... God, please just tell me when my next full game of football as my-very-capable-self will be?!}

Football, I will never quit ...

A Few Bald Men.

2010-03-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

I finished reading Andre Agassi's 'Open' today. In ~4 years since I left home, this is the fastest I've finished a book. 400 pages in a working week!

The fact was simply stated for one reason - to indicate how engrossing the book was. I've grown up watching the Sampras - Agassi rivalry. There were others around - Changs, Beckers, Hewitts, Rafters etc, but none came close. While Sampras was a clear legend among them all, only one of the above gang went on to win all 4 Grand Slams and the Olympic Gold. Agassi.

I remember buying the Nike Bandanas, keeping French beards and dreaming of an earring someday as a teenager ... hahaha ... to imitate the growing fame of Andre. The book certainly brought back great memories and almost made me feel like I am pals with this super-star!

More than anything else, it showed me that this man was highly imperfect. He hated the very game that made him a house-hold name in America and the world over. Despite all of it, Andre went on to live his life the way he wanted to. Made his mistakes and learnt from them ... and was always looking to find himself ... always willing to fight another day!

Guess, sometimes it's better not to chase perfection and enjoy the imperfections around you. It's OK to lose. It's OK to come out unsatisfied with life. It's OK to take the hits quietly. However, it's NOT OK to stop trying. And it's NOT OK to try w/o meaning :-)

That's that. Then there's Mr. Gandhi. Yeah, the Mahatma! I quite enjoyed reading chapters from a simplified version of his auto-biography - 'The Story of My Experiments with Truth' every morning with my cuppa Sri Lankan tea :-)

Lovely read. What a man!

He lived through all of that we do in our lives. He simply took his own decisions and made his own choices in life. Those which supported his own deep beliefs and desires. Those which led to a free country!

{I won't blabber much about the Mahatma as there's not much new content I can generate.} And then, both the bald fellas made me fall in love with the idea of elevating one-self above pain. So much so, that I broke my long hiatus from football recently for a tournament at work despite my long-existing back problems. Screw the pain I said, pain-killers popped, laces tightened and the passion was let loose. Result - tired body, happy heart, buzzing brain!

Another thing from Gandhi's life - self discipline. I am bound to err every now and then, but am deeply committed to leading a good life as such. Hmm, not exactly meaning to buy that pair of beige trousers and the tortoise-shelled Ralph Lauren shades. Rather, I finally went and bought a laundry basket and two cane chairs for my bachelor's pad drawing-room today. It felt like home again!

I am living more comfortably with hair-loss these days ... :-)

Strive, But Hold-on Too...

2010-03-07T00:40:00.000-08:00

Progression is the term everywhere. We want to eat better, sleep more comfortably, dress better, travel more comfortably, shop more, party more, try new things, places, meet new people ... ; Love it all. I chase it endlessly myself. But ...

There's something I choose to hold-on to. Don't wish to let go of. The simple starts of the past. The memories of those lovely moments which weren't struck by the money and strife of today.

My love for chocolate mousse is rather well-known in my social circle :-) Yes, I unabashedly pay ~400 bucs for a serving at the best 5-star in town, often. Talking of sweet-tooth tales yesterday with my flat-mate on a lazy Saturday morning, I recalled Dad's love for something my family used to have regularly as dessert post-dinner ...

Fresh cream, literally scooped off the milk vessel in the fridge (!) ... spoonfulls of sugar crystals added ... stirred, not shaken :-) Annnddd, the munchy-creamy pleasure trip after that!

Life's come a long long way since those childhood days of simple endeavors, but I constantly take immense strength and satisfaction from my roots.

I want to go see the biggest cities in the world, travel the Americas and the UKs soon, experience the pleasures awaiting me in Europe et al. However, I'd like to be sure of my identity before that. Bloody sure. Hence the wait to touch down on foreign shores shall continue in patience, and till then, I shall pick every experience this amazing land has to offer ... and ensure that I become a worthy ambassador some day!

Oops, lunch-time. Some Dal Tadka then? ;-)

Amen.

Lights. Sound. Action. {Stunning silence...}

2010-02-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

"...
A person is the sum total of all his memories.
Memory is our coherence, our reason, even our action.
It is our fiction, our self, our very own personal narrative
(through which we try and define ourselves.)
..."

I witnessed the best 75 minutes of my theatre following a couple of days back thanks to a quite brilliant Vinay Pathak, Ranvir Shorey, and Sheeba Chadha in 'The Blue Mug'.

Considering that I booked the tickets based on 2 actors in the cast I haven't even finally mentioned above ... indicates the surprise element! Yep, Konkona Sen and Rajat Kapoor are not names you can take lightly these days if you're a fan of the new age (off-beat) cinema in India. Lets see ...

Mid-way through the play Vinay Pathak and Ranvir Shorey had completely bamboozled the audiences with their amazing acts. Pathak had me in tears with the act about him being in boarding school and his dad's first visit lasting just 5 minutes ... "Ji ... Theek Hai ... Na". Those being the answers to three questions his father always asked him ... the only conversation they had.

Shorey, to my surprise, endearingly portrayed a rustic Punjabi who's memory was stuck in 1983. Over that, he also suffered from short-term memory loss. His final act where he meets his brother after years and tries to recollect the bonds ... was simply gut-wrenching.

Overall, the theme of the play ... the background score ... the light effects - especially the bit where each character's shadow was being cast on a screen behind him, were all breathtaking.

Good theatre of this sort can really bring you alive. It makes me sit on the edge of my seat and focus hard on-stage. Each expression of the characters, each change in effects, every complimentary movement of props or the cast. One gets to connect so well with the characters most times ... aaaand the yellow lighting is the icing on the cake!

{I'm one for bulbs over tube-lights. It adds more drama to the scene ... to life. Like it or not - "All the world's a stage ... "}

Goa. Freedom!

2010-02-21T09:25:00.000-08:00

Two things that will stay with me forever (and are highly recommended to every first-timer):
- the Saturday Night Market at Arpora, stunningly vibrant and fun-filled with hippies giving you a cultural treat via food, music, spices, clothes, jewels!

- Arambol beach and it's surrounding lanes. Oh my god, the tripppy lounge music to Shiva (!) backgrounds, the zoned out hippies swaying to the tunes of world music, or simply sitting with dazed eyes on the beach gazing at the horizon ... Dim lighting, great food, carefree people. Peace. Cafe Hemp and German Bakery looked rather inviting and stood out.

Do. not. miss. Loeki's Cafe sitting at the entry to the beach! I was treated to soul-stirring music coming from the violins, mandolins, guitars, vocals of some endearing Europeans/Latinos!

Add to that:
- Panjim's Latin Quarter with some superbly endearing architecture and art galleries, cafes, bars! Try 'Down the Road' over-looking the local river and it's bridges, at a cross-road signal ... straight out of classic Vienna.

Riding a two-wheeler through the winding streets of Old Goa is sheer delight then :-) It's like going straight back in time, yellow/blue houses ... fabulous churches ... and a lot of Goan/Portuguese history etched all over.

- Chapora fort and Vagator beach if you're looking for sea-breeze through your hair, and uninhibited 'me' time. You can almost see Sameer, Akash and Sid (of DCH fame) standing on the walls of the fort ... running in the rocky-grassy patches of land within ... celebrating friendship and life.
My few minutes with the football on Vagator are almost my most relaxing and lively ever!

R'you one with a little imagination? Candolim with it's abandoned ship right in front of you, is breath-taking for a few minutes! Clean, barely frequented, I could spend hours simply reading a novel with a beer in hand ... gazing at the ship in breaks.
{Well, I made plans of camping on the beach some day, and swimming to the ship at night in a covert effort to explore this rusting mammoth iron mystery!}

Shall we order now?!
- Baga is a great place to get things warmed up. Good food and music (Zanzibar), clean sands, decent crowds. Works well. With the famous Mambo's and Tito's in the vicinity, this area defines Goa for most people! Frankly, Mambo's is good till the 'desis' crowd the place and turn it into just another noisy, obnoxious disc. Tito's for me was a fabulous Goan lunch on the last day of my trip! (Of course, I was with pals on my table and all other tables were free ... hello, that's me :))

- Drinks are a pleasure at Cafe Cavala (Baga-Calangute Rd) which has a live band belting out your favorite retro tracks and throwing up a surprise or two with the current ones. You want to get smashed - exotic, fast, cheap? The 14 shots for ~1700 bucs at 'Shooters' (same Rd) were LEGENDARY!

Hmmm, what's left now ... lets see ... ok, "sweet tooth did I hear?" I wouldn't go beyond recommending 'Infantaria' at the Calangute entry. FAB! Lovely muffins, decent mousse and tarts at a neat sit-out.

At the end of the day, if it's not your first time in Goa, you'll pretty much know what you want once there. You might simply go there to enjoy the drinking, eating, beach culture ... or you might pick certain experiences that define you best and want to get your doze of the same. When in Goa, rules rarely matter beyond yourself ;-)

Art, architecture, fashion, live music, chatting with foreigners, trying diverse cuisines, sleeping late and waking up easy (compulsively to Chai and the written word :-)) - pretty much make the perfect vacation for me, and I try my best to stick to the pattern!

Sheer Joy of Goa. Pensive Yet ...

2010-02-20T23:25:00.000-08:00

Long ago I'd started to write a post titled 'Lonely Traveller...So What? Lonely Planet...Really?' to pen down my thoughts on traveling solo. It was inspired by a very satisfying trip I'd made to Pondicherry by myself. Back then, the words were meant to be a celebration of travel, for anyone unable to find their kind for that elusive getaway! Today, they're upsetting-ly different ...

My usual Sunday morning cuppa chai was accompanied by Shobha De's article on 'Terror Tourism' in the Times. And she titled it something like 'Lonely Planet no more ...' :-/

She talked about how terrorism is hitting all those 'nothing-spectacular-but-popularity' places in India like Pune's German Bakery, Mumbai's Leopold ... ; Having been to both places and genuinely identified with the casual feel of both, it hurt to see the places in shambles post-attack! Cannot agree with Shobha more when she ends the article saying come what may, we'll still frequent these places. Albeit a little cautiously.

I was to write this post on my recent Goa escapade with a very similar theme. One of relishing the not-so-known little places purely out of recommendation or chance. I've been a fan of such experiences for a while now - be it a random bookstore-cafe in GK 1 N-block Delhi or the unknown restaurant in Fraser Town Bangalore.

Anyway, I echo Lady De ... F*** it! One life, live it.

Talking Goa, I go blank for starters ;-) Boy, I let loose there or what! Agreed, I was guilty of over-planning and eventually came out pleasantly surprised when each failed plan led to a pleasurable experience anyway. I HAVE TO listen to Madonna's good 'ol song to translate what this 'holiday' meant in terms of mental liberation!

Goa's an experience. Period.

Go there to eat great food, enjoy good liquor at decent prices, have random conversations with fellow travelers, ride around the place through small little lanes and stop every second turn to say "Wow ... look!" ... drive through the open fields at 12 noon or 12 mid-night and feel the vibes of lovely live music, carefree tourism ... the sun, the sand, the sea ... the forts, the Portuguese architecture, the old town feel!

You can follow the guides, the blogs on it, a 100 people around you giving you 100 different opinions of what they think is unmissable. My recommendation - know what you like, what you'd love to do on a holiday ... and let Goa pamper you after that!

'Cos there's something for everyone there :-)

Inevitability ... Stuns All The Same.

2010-02-16T11:09:00.001-08:00

I get off the plane after an almost-magical 5-days in Goa. While I put the finishing touches to a quite wonderful conversation with a couple of Londoners (which started on the return flight), and promise the lady (free-lance writer herself) that I will write about my perspective on Goa soon and drop her an email - I switch on my cell phone to see a message from home saying my maternal Grandmother had finally succumbed to her age after a month-long battle in coma ...

{One of those moments where life leaves you wondering what to say, do, feel, and think suddenly.}

I called back right-away and reached mom on the phone ... without realizing that I might not be prepared to hear what was coming, just yet. Didn't matter, I just wanted to hear her. She broke down and simply told me - (having lost her second parent too) she feels like the roof's being taken away from above her ...

God bless my Granny's soul. I'm so thankful to my stars that I met her in good spirits a couple of months ago and shared a lovely couple of days with her. Took her blessings, opened up to her.

I haven't been able to utter a word since. Not just because I lost a wonderful soul related to me, but because my mother's words made me think for a moment about her position and made me lose my balance (imagining for a minute, what life would be without my life's pillars, my parents).

What's constantly coming to mind is the need to enjoy and savor more of what I have in the form of my present, than worrying and scurrying about what I don't (the future).

Birth was destiny. Death is inevitable. Life in between is something I have in my hands, and I hope to do a better job of dealing with it than I have.

Amen.

Why, I Ask?

2010-02-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

Very often in the last few weeks I've had to stop in my tracks and ask myself why I was doing what I was, at my workplace, at home, with my friends ... ; Having fun apart, I've often made statements too passionate for the liking of this world. Sadly, things have a way of making you do what they want you to.

I lost out on a good role in the company recently, by a whisker I guess, and was sent back to the drawing board by reality :) It's disinteresting toil all over again, with company policies standing in the way of all future aspirations ... ; disillusioned I was - would be an understatement!

{Experience helps in situations like these. So the 'will not go into the night without a fight ...' mechanism is back in place and things are beginning to pick up.}

What's new? I finally made it (again) to my company's weekend social service program after a gap of 3 years! It was a small state board directed school on the outskirts of Hyderabad. Aim was to simply help the 9th/10th Grade students prepare for their upcoming exams in April and help them pass ...

My first steps into the school were overwhelming ... hearing "Good mooooorning teacher" and "Sir, sir, siiiiirrrrr" made me realize what I had signed up for. With power comes responsibility! So I took charge of this girl in 9th and decided to help her with .... {uhh, wait wait, "Do I have to teach teach her?!" ... "I don't even know how much she knows!"} ... English.

I realized within a couple of minutes of looking at her notebook that she'd simply crammed and scribbled out a lot of that stuff w/o a real clue. Simply asked the girl to close the book, and if she was okay walking outside the classroom with me and having a friendly conversation. She agreed and informed me that she could understand and converse in basic Hindi. The ice broke and I finished my two hours with an amazingly enriching session of conversational Hindi, English, and motivation!

It was nice to finally have a day where I knew why I said and did what I did. Maybe such moments will give that much needed direction to life ...

{Called up mom right after to tell the original teacher what I'd just delivered and how I could relate so much to every teacher going through the exact same challenge!}

Amen.

The Significance of Going (Re)public.

2010-01-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Jan 25, 2010 was a funny day in terms of how it started for me and where it finally left me.

I started the day with a trip to my school (Army Public School, Bangalore) after more than a year. The campus had a very (progressively) different look to it with the new buildings in place. I walked in with a purpose similar, but an outlook very different from the one I had walked out with ~8 years ago ...

Meeting my Physics and Chemistry teachers was an absolute pleasure! It took them just that bit longer to recognize me ... what with the hair and weight loss of recent months (hahaha). Just standing in the physics lab and generally walking the new building felt so humbling; I was suddenly overwhelmed with those school-boyish desires to go out and make it big ... make a name!

Met the Principal next, and after a very pleasant round of intros, we came around to discussing business. Yep, Rahul wanted to take this life-long association with his school to the next level. He wanted to get involved with small aspects of the school's routine ... and make a difference in perspectives if possible. She agreed and said - "Lets talk my boy!". Even gave her 'old boy' a chocolate while bidding goodbye, and asked me to bring a plan back to her table and she's all eager ears. Amen.

After that I went to the most expensive luxury brands in town and blew up a considerable amount on some wardrobe items - a shirt, a pair of shoes and a tie. Love them all, and certainly believe I paid 'a lot' for the brand, styling and finish. Anyway ...

People who know me and have read this blog lately, must know about my obsession with 'Harvard' and desires related. Yesterday, on a 'routine evening' at facebook, I came across this talk posted by a pal ... and something overcame me.

I then watched 'The Last King of Scotland' (with it's depiction of the third world and political agendas ruining things further) and was left thinking about the world around me. Suddenly Harvard and Paul Smith didn't mean the same anymore.

I must admit - I felt quite small for having blown up so much money on shopping, and (often) mindlessly aiming for Harvard (or the likes). I would HATE to be branded an elitist because I know deep down I am not one. It hurts to see mankind make such a mess of their and others' lives.

The point is, I am very keen to give purpose and meaning to each action and word of mine in the comings days. In the remainder of my life if I can. Thankfully, I have gone on an overdrive in building my social and personal 'awareness quotient' and hope it's a step in the right direction.

On India's 60th Republic Day (today), I'm full of optimism seeing so many people around me pursuing their dreams, making a difference to their surroundings in whatever way they can ... and adding to the change that's spurring this nation forward!

Jai Hind.

Maa ke haath ka ... :'-)

2010-01-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

Finally the much needed break came! Bangalore it is from January 22 night till the evening of January 30. 5 months away from home and family can be tough; the reunion, immensely gratifying!

Met some school buddies over coffee at a popular hotel late last night. It's a great feeling when having grown up in a city as a kid managing your pocket money and making your wishlists with each visit to the markets, you now return to pick your exclusive experiences. Priceless. You feel all grown up man! When you talk about career and family at the same places that you used to once discuss the next football match or school party at! Life ...

Something special about today -

I had 'Maa ke haath ka' Aloo Parathas in brunch ... after aaaages + shared Achari Chicken s/w with 'Mom' & Chargrilled Paneer s/w with 'Dad' for evening snack + Aloo Gobi with Rajma Chawal made esssspecially by 'Maaaaa' for dinner + Kaju Burfi post dinner!

It's worth all those miles of distances that you sit away missing home.

This time I promised myself I'll visit my school ... which I've missed going to for over a year now. Certainly on the cards tomorrow, and well, I have plans for my school on this trip ... wish to get involved and give back ... (if things go well, I shall talk about it in another post!).

{Corporate dreams still-in-progress. Fingers crossed.}

Amen.

Work. Monday. Yaawwwn ...

2010-01-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

Haven't written much lately as my mind's been extensively occupied with thoughts and ideas work-related. I've been reading and thinking a lot regarding my job, my career, my industry, people around me in the industry ... gets tiring. Blogging took a back seat :(

The following conversation with my cube-mate signifies our lives (lately), my days, my today and certainly ... my next post. Next post? Yes, we sit by each other at work the whole day ... and then ........... end up on facebook together. Point.

"Cube-mate: If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.

Me: Someday I hope we both refute this statement forever. And bury it!

Cube-mate: I'm depressed..... and upset...... and morose......and the damn glass is half empty..... and it has stale water..... and it is cracked..... and I cut my lip on it... and chipped a tooth too.... and I don't wanna work tomorrow... or the day after that.... or ever again in my life.

Me: If you start loving your job, it won't be a job anymore Neha ji ... it'll become a passion. And this world is afraid of passionate seekers and doers. So let the passions lead you ... to pain, to glory, to sacrifices, to satisfaction!

As for tomorrow - either cold practicality (work) or outright defiance is recommended. Take the day off!"

Someone read her comments and asked me - "Is she fine, da?!" Lol ... of course, I was sure she was simply cracking philosophy, 'cos my 'work-life balance idolizing' cube-mate here ended up working on a rare occasion this evening! Hahaha ....

Otherwise, I have been thinking a lot about what 'Social Networking' has done to our lives these days. Coming up ... {of course}

2010. Zooming in ... Focussing on ...

2010-01-09T00:06:00.000-08:00

It's easy for people to blabber the first thought that comes to mind after 5 vodkas and tag it - "PEOPLE, my new year resolution issss...". Kidding ... we've all been through this sometime. Ok, so when was the last time someone went on to put a check mark next to their new resolution? Enter 'Maverick Thinking' ;-)

I touched down at Hyderabad in 25 deg (outside temperature), having boarded the flight in Delhi in 4 deg (!) after a long official trip there. In 3.5 years I never realized how lovely Hyd felt, till I exited the airport on Jan 3, 2010 into the fresh cool evening breeze!

Every road, every corner had a story attached to it. People make a city, no doubt! In this past week, I've loved catching up with every known face at work ... eaten at all those simple and favorite places I've frequented these past yrs ... visited the Hard Rock Cafe (Hyd) for a farewell evening of a good good pal ... played soccer with my Google office team/gang (yahoo!) last evening, and then went out with a bunch of those for mug after mug of beer and great food. Even eyed this new cutie who's joined office on a short-term project while I was away! Randomness ... haha.

Bottom line - I'm mentally relaxed and have thoroughly enjoyed easing off these past few days on the back of a long unforgiving trip up north!

Also, just to validate my intentions and this post :P - I do have a new resolution coming out of all of the above!

In 2010, I'm chasing - rigorous research, vigorous debate, informed commentary, and practical guidance.

Met a lot of close pals recently - pursuing their MBA dreams or planning for it, here in India or abroad. I realize, it's about time everything else takes lower priority. Coming from a long drawn plan for the last few years, I can't hit a college in 2011 I guess ... but 2012 then is surely on.

Oh, did I say college ... sorry. Harvard. Mission Harvard. Every freaking career decision this year will be keeping that goal in mind. I shall chalk many a smaller goals - around people, around cities, around activities, around job profiles etc. to inch closer to that goal!

Here's to a sincere effort to living that childhood dream of wearing the crimson, standing outside the symbolic clock-tower and rowing in the famous picturesque creak on the Harvard yard.

Amen.

A 'Total 90' Trip ... !

2010-01-02T21:09:00.000-08:00

A song, that's stayed close to my heart for more than 15 years now, comes to mind again today ... "Papa kehte hain bada naam karega...". I play it and write on ...

In footballing terminologies, Nike's 'Total 90' is a legendary brand now - signifying the ability to last out the 90 minutes of a full-fledged hard-core in-your-face game!

(even though, technically & unofficially, this experience started about 4 months ago ... Sept '09) I'd like to term my last 3 months in Gurgaon/Delhi - :-) - Total 90!

As I sit less than 6 hours from my flight out of the affable madness here, my excitement while writing this from the guest house desk is exactly (or maybe more than) what it was 3 months ago.

Yesterday was the epitome of experiences I've had recently. Easily the coldest and foggiest day I've been a part of in a decade probably! And here I was - slightly feverish, riding my bike 50 kms to the railway station so that I could send it back to base (Hyderabad) before I leave Gurgaon. I was chilled down to my bloody spine! So much so, that half way through my sojourn with the babus at Nizamuddin station, I had to run to a stall outside the station for a hot Samosa and piping cup of tea. Divine!

Work done, I was to join close pals from college times in GK-1 N block next. Loved the theme cafe - 'Turtle' there to bits. The bate was that a Mr. Joshi (of 'Joshi hamara neta hai' fame in college) and his girl friend, a Ms. Joshi (haha...yes, they're both pahadis and 'Joshis' as they love to proclaim!) were joining us. We sat around chit-chatting for a bit and realized this winter needed some liquor man!

Mr. Batra's hot chocolate and walnut cake 'class' wasn't cutting too much for him.

Connaught Place ... great kebabs, cheap daru ... the gang in it's element! We planned futures, and marriages, and MBAs and euro trips ... bla bla. God bless them. Such times make you believe you are living.

That said, I will miss the see-saw time I've had here each day, immensely. I had ecstatic highs, and heart-breaking lows at the same time. Fantastic learning, met great people, did life-changing work, wrote a lot of blog posts (yeah!) ...

Next? Arre screw Telangana and Andhra man - I'm heading back to my Hyderabad. A place where I left behind a home and room I call mine! A place with many a guy I call brother, and some girls ... uhh ... I call friends! :P

And when your cube-mate and room-mate message you the night before your return, assuring you that they're waiting with open arms ... :-) fffff***, you thank (them and) god for it!

Once again, this experience has given me a new aim/direction in life ... and I shall chase it with all my heart.

Amen.

2009. 'THE Hangover' Shall Continue! Wohoho ...

2009-12-31T05:12:00.000-08:00

When on your last day on a high-profile project ... incidentally the 31 of December 2009 (!) ... your manager inspires you to publish a paper/study on your project and learnings, and bids you a goodbye into the new year with a Champagne opening session (in office!) ... you know you freakin' love Business Development {Strategy, Sales, Expensive clothes, Negotiations, Markets, Pretty North-Indians ( ;-) ), ROI, Winter meetings over drinks, Risk analysis, Luxury cars, 5 Star lunches, Public speaking, Champagne ... the list is never-ending.} !

What a memorable 3 months in Gurgaon ...

On a real note ... 2009 has been an, uh no, a year of self-realizations -

At the end of a tiring day at work, if a great chat online with an old pal can lighten up your spirits, you know you've matured :-) And if that motivates you to go back and spend a few more hours - working into the night - boss, you're doing very well at the age of 25, I tell you!

It's been about knowing what my strengths are, and working to better them. It's been about learning what my weaknesses are, and accepting them.

This year has been about people. People who've influenced my living, my thinking, my desires, my judgments, my likes and dislikes. People who've left ... people who've come back ... people, who were always there!

This year has been about priorities for me. Today, I am judged on what I yearn for, what I earn from. That's the lousy world for you. That's what we all talk about, don't we? The end goals may vary ... but the job and that pay packet at the end of the month govern your mornings and evenings for now.

So then - I loved football more than my life ... but put it on the back burner. I loved (socializing with) people more than the concrete walls of my office or room ... but it's now secondary. I've always enjoyed the company of pretty women (sometimes, even dumb ones) ... but it ain't ruling my thoughts anymore.

The important bit - I've learned how to say no ... and well. I have very strong faith in my beliefs and anything deterring me beyond my comfort zones, is shown the door of my brain!

I stretched myself into unchartered territories in 2009. In love, and at work. I took the plunge and bore the brunt. I sat late hours and smiled the next morning. I realized what I want to live for. And what I surely don't want to call life.

In essence, I say good bye to 2009 with very fond memories and highly motivating personal desires. To 2010, I say - come, be another glorious chapter in this epic called me.

(With 'The Hangover' track playing in the background...) Amen.

Good-good-gaon.

2009-12-26T04:15:00.000-08:00

I've written with varying emotions these past two months...for reasons evident.

Last two days have been quite endearing because I've spend some top quality time with two really chilled out and mentally balanced people! Watched a movie, drank great wine with salads and bla bla, walked 4-5 kms in the winter chill (4-5 degrees) at 2 am, shopped up-market, gone to a typical small time-good crowd-rock bar, talked women/life/work/personality, bitched, gossiped, driven around Delhi, had masala tea in glass cups (at 1 am) at the local Mocha ... fabulous!

One is a web analytics specialist, the second a PR manager ... both like wearing grey though. And love drinking after a plate of spicy momos!

Not much could've bettered the above. Or so I thought. Life ... ... ... ; finally, I write with pure, simple, immense pleasure ...

So when a big big crush from my senior-school days, a dear friend, was coming down to see me for a bit, (having touched down in India for a short break from her studies abroad) ... I could sense something. It's been 9 years since I first met her ... it's been over 18 months since I last saw her ... {speechless moment}

She's still as sweet and down to earth with me, as she always was. We met for 2 hours over a cuppa coffee ... and surely felt like we made up for a long long gap! She thinks she's over-weight ... but then all women do ;-) And while the world's going idiotic and skinny, I'm delighted to see her go sensible, strong, mature and ... womanly.

Not sure when we'll see each other again. This one's got a touch of destiny to it ...

The Godfather(s).

2009-12-25T22:37:00.000-08:00

A random search on Al last night threw up the following picture of Al and Bobby!

Speechless.

Al Pacino - Robert De Niro...and I thought God had done me a favor by having Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson pose together for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (below)!

On second thoughts ... hmmm ... ;-)

A Manager. A personality.

2009-12-22T12:11:00.001-08:00

In stark contrast to "many achievements but little experience, great success but no vision" of some times ago, I'm tasting the high of entrepreneurship...and the magic of business development thesedays.

I have to thank one man sincerely ... my boss for the last 3 months - (please do click on the name!) Gautam Gandhi. A highly unpredictably personality on some days, a stunningly brilliant and sharp mind on most. The guy is a bit of a celebrity in the corporate circles.

Gautam raised the bar so high (for me) every day, that despite my best efforts to come close, I rarely satisfied his expectations. Result - I've come out with a few extra grey hair...but a 'hard-to-break' confidence in my abilities and some fabulous business insights!

The epitome of professionalism, he symbolizes the seriousness business requires as a field. I'm a fan. Pity, I may not get to work with him for too much longer.

I wrote about the people who inspire my daily living, in a post sometime back. What's important about such a connection is that, you end up carrying a bit of your idol within you - which helps you handle certain situations just like them.

Perhaps an important aspect of idolizing someone is the fact that you can't see them often, can't meet them or talk to them often...

Life's A Great Leveller...

2009-12-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

Manchester United has been drawn to play AC Milan in the Champions League Round of 16, come February 16, 2010. 2nd leg is in Old Trafford... :-) YES...MY DAVID BECKHAM will probably grace the grass of his childhood club once again, in opposing colors though... (as he joins AC Milan this January.)

Since morning I haven't been able to stop thinking about it...; I (might) quietly book my tickets for the second leg game in Manchester, on March 10, 2010. I can imagine the tears in the eyes of every true United and David fan, when they see there one-time hero return home!

{author already getting sentimental here...} My soul will be there, on the grass of Old Trafford that night...

Life's like that you know. Becks loved United (and still does), but could not do much against the bigger forces that wanted his exit...; simply because it made sense for the larger picture. For business.

Money often trumps emotions and passions in this world. Pity.

I've had to face something similar these past few days... :( 2 months back a very respectable Manager in my company took me on board after much hesitation, for a very responsible and meaty project. Something a lot of big minds are betting on, in this part of the world. And he made me feel like he'd made a mistake by picking me. It has reached a stage where he wants me to continue longer...and ended up speaking to his global boss, an MIT top-shot lady, for a permanent move for me. I am simply humbled knowing that my efforts eventually brought him around to even feel that way.

Sadly, the boss told him that in a big & revolutionary company like our's, the temporary role my Mgr was trying to make permanent for me...needed at least an MBA; she said that she realized what she had in terms of ability and quality here, but that she couldn't break company policy in a highly esteemed and visible team like hers.

With that, I can see my early shot at corporate magic (at the highest level) go for a toss...; life they say.

The most challenging months of my life are drawing to a close in the coming days ... and I genuinely hope that all the effort that has gone into making something out of nothing for myself, doesn't go waste. I don't want to lose momentum, or drive, at such a significant phase in my career and life.

Fingers crossed.

No plans for Christmas and New Year's yet... :-) 'cos work's drained me completely. I simply want to sit with some close pals, talk simple life...share a joke or two, down a couple of beers and hit my bed.

Oh, and I've just returned from a warmly comic and sweet rendition of Mirza Ghalib's life in a theater presentation called 'Ghalib in New Delhi'. The play also showed how Ghalib went from being a revered poet to being a forgotten legend, and in fact, what commercialization and business has turned our lives into. A race. Sometimes it feels like I can outrun most people around me on my day...but I'm tired of the way this race is being conducted!

I. sure. DO. want. to. walk. the streets of Manchester this coming March!

Absolutely Humbled.

2009-12-14T00:26:00.000-08:00

This one goes out to the lady whose office I've been working at (on behalf of my company, on a short-term project) for the past month, whom I've met a couple of times fleetingly, and who pleasantly surprised me by confessing (in person) that she's been reading my blog for over a year!

Really is a small world...

Thanks. To you and to anyone who's ever visited this blog. I (still) wouldn't accede that I write for the reader, but if some of my thoughts echo moments you've experienced and make you feel that you're not the only one facing the music (:P), good to know!

Also, while it'll be lovely to see who reads my blog often and have the 'Followers' gadget up on my blog, I realized I didn't want to publicize (some may consider, show-off) my readers. However, I really really appreciate it when someone drops a comment and it makes me feel good.

I am open to being criticized, questioned on my blog...with reason. In my support, all I will say is that I write only to record every bit of what I think, feel, emote (as I once wrote)...'cos sometimes I miss a real person who can be that 'Wonderwall' :-)

Back to work. Oh wait, lunch time!

Mid Life Crisis...Is Fun.

2009-12-13T10:31:00.000-08:00

Haha...maybe not all the time. But if that mean's you've got a couple of companies valuing your opinions and looping you in serious business development conversations left, right and center - sometimes over expensive 5-Star lunches, sometimes over hookahs and sometimes over tense board room discussions - you say, "Why not!".

I think I'm beginning to realize that risking failure in life is way more acceptable to me than sitting around waiting for a dream to come true.

I'm beginning to figure my opinions out on most things around me, be it the close-to-heart family situations, or the big bad business worlds. Apart from women that is :P A subject, on which my own views are probably more complicated than the subject itself!

Every second person around me, of my age, is getting married. Wow! What the heck?! Fine, no worries. I am sooo not man. And thankfully, many people I can relate to mentally, are not. Phew!

Why? Simply because I've got miles to go before I can settle down to the simple pleasures and responsibilities of family life. Work's an adrenalin rush these days and I really want to translate these few years of a strong global platform my first job has given me, into something substantial.

I'm beginning to get obsessed with Internet Business Development as a career path...and with Harvard/Oxford as my final intellectual destination! It's keeping me awake staring at walls all night...it's making me wake up and look out of the window all morning.

During a recent conversation with a couple of close and compatible college buddies, I agreed with them on the fact that we do not want to be struggling to earn and realize our dreams at 40 and beyond. We'd rather slog our socks off, sacrifice - health, family, friends...that drink in the local pub, and that meal at the romantic restaurant...that movie, that holiday...anything and everything...to find our calling, give it our best and most sincere shot...and hit the road to settlement SOON!

I'd like to finish with my corporate ambitions by the time I'm 35 frankly...which doesn't mean I'm not going to be having some fun in the mean while. When the stakes are high, the money and people involved are pretty indulgent ;-)

However, I do believe I have it in me to go and get involved with some of the social issues this world is facing day-in day-out. I'm very very keen on taking up International Terrorism and Political Affairs as an area of expertise in 10-15 years. Yes, it seems like a long shot now, but I'm simmering inside and hopefully the fire will stay alive!

Ok ok, I also wish to travel the world, and enjoy the people and cultures of the beautiful corners of this planet.............write books, take pictures, flirt with the local women (Haha)!

So fuck every destructive force on this planet that might wreck my ship; fuck every negative energy in the society around me; fuck everyone who thinks life's tough and we're simply an audience to God's theatricals...everyone who thinks I cannot put my mind to every thing I've ever wanted to do! It really is all in the mind. And I take an oath on this post today that I shall break the barriers of thinking to make something out of this lifetime...or the next.

And finally, me and those pals of mine, could see ourselves dressed in a tweed (Ralph Lauren?!) coat, teaching something passionately to other budding minds (like us today), and attaining our peace :-)

Amen.

Blazers and Business Development... ;-)

2009-12-02T20:01:00.000-08:00

As I walked out of my room dressed to battle the winter and the corporate hurricanes I'm in the midst of lately...I felt a sense of purpose. I felt I am...will...and can make a difference to people and businesses around me.

Life's hit a fast lane on weekdays alright. Drinking water or visiting the loo barely come to mind till it's almost too late! At some point during the afternoon when people around me can't wait any longer, I'm told lunch is lying served and I eat it.

Back in my company (Uh...guess guess!) I hear the term "Chill ya...", "Relaaaaax...", "Take it easy..." far too often for my comfort these days. While here (my project site), I'm literally the circle at which 6-7 functional roads converge for answers. For the past month, days and nights have passed like a simple flap of the month sheet on the last day of the calendar month. And it gives me a bloody high I must say.

Realistically, where do I stand today? I'm almost on the edge of the roof trying to balance the business situation here. My company wants my client to open the market for them. My client wants to boast my company's logo under their name and as an introduction to every business proposition they make. My client's parent company in the US in dilly-dallying and that's likely to worry my company's interests in my client!

3 months ago I openly claimed, "Manager, I do not wish to get into people management for the next few years. I've got enough in me to simply do my bit and change the course of my surroundings, but all as an individual contributor." Today, I almost reach home panting every evening...'cos what I have been doing for the past 2 months in all forms of life and work - is People Management! Wow.

Someone said well, "When you fall, pick up something." I have.

Amen.

(A Proud...) One Hundred.

2009-11-28T01:03:00.000-08:00

{Note - All text in Grey below, is a link. Recommended.}

As I listen to this song...writing my one hundredth blog post :-), looking back at this 3.5 year journey...when long long time ago I started putting my thoughts down on this online legacy of mine...

On a Saturday afternoon when I feel as unsure about life as I did those 3.5 years ago...I key in my words with a sense of determination that's come to be a trait of my personality lately...

2:50 pm: Having woken up as late as I ever have, on the back of a long long night among the rock music (nice, decent, bearable) and (fucking amusing) party circles of Delhi, I sit by my guest room window enjoying the winter sun...

As always sooo much on my mind today. Work's literally governing my waking, walking, talking, eating, sleeping, thinking timings lately ... and turning out a big challenge; As I sit on the table balancing the futures of two companies in need of each other's efforts...I feel like I am on my way to achieving a few dreams.

What can I write to make this 100th post special. The fact that someone in Gurgaon pronounced 'Ericsson' as 'Erection'?! Or the fact that - in trying to play a 'pull back' on the pool table yesterday, I ended up jumping the target ball, sending the cue ball flying off the table...breaking the glass side-table top! :P

So what's on the menu when the author decided to add flavor to post no. 100?! As mentioned in my previous post, I've been wanting to write about the personalities who've impacted my thinking and approach to life, the most. I wish to put down the names of some of the people who inspire me day in day out to go on and do my stuff...my way.

Alessandro Del Piero (Footballing artistry!) ... Loyalty. Leadership. Belief. Will power.

Pete Sampras ... Humility. Brilliance. Simplicity. Legend.

Shashi Tharoor (Pure Admiration!) ... Knowledge. Etiquette. Class. Finesse. Prolific thought and presentation.

Ruskin Bond ... Observation. Simplicity. Grounded. Of the soil. Of the soul.

Nikesh Arora ... Vision. Hard work. Hunger. Drive. Attitude. Smartness. Confidence.

Steve Jobs (On November 5, 2009, Jobs was named the CEO of the decade by Fortune Magazine.) ... Determination. Passion. Aggression. Hunger. Ruthless. Vision. Global impact.

Al Pacino (I take a bow, Don Corleone!) ... Passion. Fire in the eyes. Hard work. Maverick. A man who expressed, articulated, emoted.

My first love relation. She made me human. She pushed me into writing this blog, right from the first post. She made me realize what real love was. Is. She lead me to believe in the larger self and in trying hard each day to pursue it. I don't think of her much now ... I don't need to. I am her in many ways today.

Mom and Dad {No link for this one :-) My life is a link to theirs} ... Emotion. Humanity. Idealism. Discipline. Love. Life.

I, me, myself.

'The Wall' from Bangalore.

2009-11-25T03:36:00.000-08:00

Rahul Dravid cracked another hundred today.

He wasn't the 'God of Off-side'. He wasn't the 'Prince of Calcutta'. He isn't the 'King from Mumbai'. Or the 'Master Blaster' even. He got out on 95 in his first test innings, when his fellow debutante and big potential (Ganguly) went onto crack a century.

Very often this world chooses to elevate flamboyance, brilliance and talent to greatness. Very often they forget to acknowledge resolve...application...nerves of steel...selfless sacrifice. Rahul Dravid is a man who's taken it on the chin for almost 13 years now.

He's faced the new ball, he's played at no. 3, 4, 5, 6 (!). For an orthodox 'One-down', at no. 6 he scored the famous 181 against Australia a few years ago to help us win the match and the series from a 'follow-on' position! Respect.

From being one of India's Test mainstays, he's gone on to become one of the best Batsman in both forms of cricket...ever. This, after he was continuously discarded as being a dogged test player in his early years. Respect.

He's scored big runs on every continent, in every condition, against every team, bowler...time and again. Respect.

He's kept wickets for India, opened the batting for India, and captained the team for India in both forms of cricket...simultaneously. In his own unassuming manner...he's done it with humility, with elegance, keeping his head on his shoulders. Respect.

He stepped down from the captaincy and took the blame for the fall of Indian Cricket at a stage. He's been unceremoniously dropped (and often picked back) from the One-day squad. I don't think it takes anything away from a man who's played 131 tests for India out of the 135 India has played since his debut...in 13 years. Now that is incredible.

I know he doesn't like the title of the 'The Wall', having demonstrated some legendary slog-over and 20-20 classics...but really, there's no better sight for the purist than - watching Rahul Dravid walk in at No. 3 on the morning of a Test Match and walking back unbeaten, holding fort, at the end of the day's play.

Amen.

{Author psyched to write on other such idols he looks up to these days, in times which require some serious inspiration! Next up...}

Vacation Responder.

2009-11-22T11:25:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: Author (began to) hit the notes within a day of touching down in Sri Lanka...

"Olla!

I'm traveling to Sri Lanka from Nov 18-22 on a work/pleasure trip and will have occasional access to email, but no cell phone connectivity.

If something's really important, handle it yourself. Else, handle it yourself.

On a serious note, if you've sent me an email...great! My Inbox is linked to your credit card and each time you mail, I'll earn $50. Only.

Love,
Rahul"

PS: Just got back and unpacked. Realized my luck with expensive sunglasses continues to suck! Back to work from tomorrow. Responder off. Buzzing with thoughts and ideas.

Hmmm...Ok.

2009-11-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

3:45 am. Gurgaon.

I've never been as disinterested or mentally under-prepared for a trip. My second 'foreign' trip, it turns out, has come out of the blues.

Big cities have a way of leaving you lost and lonely. I know enough people here to throw a party every weekend, but somehow, I feel a disconnect in this region. Coming from smaller, more closely-knit cities like Bangalore and Hyderabad, I clearly disapprove of the life here. Not to mention the uneducated, money-governed-morals, wannabe stereotypes that this city shoves in your face. I fuckin' laugh at them!

As I type away on the keyboard, tea cup by my side, I'm about 2.5 hrs from my flight to Sri Lanka. I almost canceled my trip last minute 'cos I was willing to stay back and work on my project here (jesus christ!). I've come to feel good among the people at my project site. People are grounded there, simple as such, and respect your passion, knowledge and experience. They haven't had any bubbles to live in, and therefore, are willing to slug it out.

That said, I'm gonna be with a fun bunch the next few days I know. For once, I don't know how, when and what I shall be doing in the next 5 days...and that's beginning to add to the excitement.

One thing I'm not under-prepared with - my luggage ;-) Well, all expense paid corporate fun...let me embrace you anyway.

Sunday Special.

2009-11-15T02:38:00.000-08:00

Woke up comfortably numb. After the usual Sunday morning tea-aided routine, I sat down to figure out how to spend this day. At 3 pm over lunch, my mind was racing...shopping/hair-cut/coffee/rock concert/visiting an injured pal...what?!

Answer: Hindustan Times. Section: Think! (smiles)

It turns out, I'm a witness to a legend called Sachin Tendulkar completing 20 years in international cricket today. I simply bow to the man. Having read and heard enough about Sachin for the past week, after his blistering 175 against the Aussies, I summarize my respect for the fella thus: epitome of - Passion. Mental strength. Humility.

Now there are good sides to being in Delhi, you see. A Pablo Picasso exhibition with around 46 Vollard paintings to be gazed at, sure is one! Added to my 'to do' list right below the National Gallery of Modern Art ($%#*). Without a doubt Picasso's rather revolutionary paintings had sensational depth in meaning. One is left baffled with how he depicted the mass sentiment in addition to his own critical accounts of the Spanish society.

Politics. Pakistan's a bloody mess. The very tiger of terrorism it's been riding for years, is now eating it up! I'm certainly expecting the Americans to intervene sooner rather than later to get the long-awaited foothold in Asia they've been eying. Till the time the yanks don't poke the Russians or the Chinese, I'll be ok with their presence in an otherwise maniacal neighborhood.

Children's Day fact: Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru was initially of the surname 'Kaul', a Kashmiri Pandit. However, his family was close to the 'nehars' (canals) and hence they came be known as the 'Nehrus' :-)

New found respect for PC (not Priyanka Chopra! ... Home Minister - Mr. P Chidambaram :P). The guy's from Chennai's Presidency Clge, then did Law in Chennai and went on to get his MBA from...ahem ahem - Harvard Business School. Phew! He seems to be shaking up the much maligned Home Ministry at some pace. Files are moving, confidence is growing, security's getting better...go PC! Here's a guy I'm going to track going forward.

This one's a favorite. The Class of 1986 from St. Xavier's school, Kolkata have donated Rs. 2.2 Cr to their alma mater as a gesture of nobility and thanking! It's inspired me to go after my Facebook-ing school mates and get together a 'APS Bangalore, Class of 2002' network going. Who knows...someday we might make a difference to someone.

Ok ok, I have to have to put this one in...

Maasi quotes someone from her hay days -

"There are 4 stages to a girl's search for the perfect man. Teens-20, 'How is he?'. 20-23, 'What is he?'. 23-28, 'Who is he?'. 28 onwards, 'Where is he?!'."

We concurred on the fact that these days even the guys go through a similar stage. Which means, at 25...uhhh, I should probably be looking for a personality match! Of course, in balance with the 'How' and 'What' aspect...'cos boys will remain boys and there's nothing like having a beauty or a woman-in-power...at. certain. times.

;-)

Irony.

2009-11-14T12:32:00.000-08:00

Saturday night. After a well spent day and a half with mom's mom and sisters, I return to my guest house wondering what a Saturday night in Gurgaon might've been in better times ... (smiles)

10:00 pm. Call a buddy to check if there's some plan on. Join in, he says! As I ride out to NH8 in the pleasant breeze and hit a couple of boards saying 'Earth...Den', I remember a lovely evening spent with a former love interest just a couple of months ago; Turns out, my destination was a Hotel Galaxy's sports bar. Just as I stroll towards the lobby from the parking lot ... OOPS ... see her entering her car with her family ... pass without a word, thinking about the 'what-might've-beens' again ...

Didn't matter anymore so didn't hurt anymore. After 4 beers, 4 hours, some lovely music and a boys night out ... one reconciles with God.

With a rather sexy version of 'The Way I Are...' blowing his brain away at an unearthly hour, (author nods his head and smiles away...) at life.

Yesterday, (All My Problems Seemed so far away...)

2009-11-07T23:29:00.000-08:00

Why? Well, I decided to invoke stronger feelings than the ones that were bothering me recently.

I decided to work on a Saturday morning from my client's site for one. Everyone on the project was grateful for this little extra mile I was suddenly willing to go. Post-lunch, I decided to make a second attempt to see the National Gallery of Modern Art, behind the India Gate...35km from my residence here in Gurgaon. It's been long pending and I knew some art would serve me well on the day.

Guess what?! It was closed AGAIN! Last time I went on a Monday, when it's supposed to be closed. This time...only this time (yaayyy! effff...), it was closed post-lunch on a Saturday to facilitate a VIPs visit. Wtf?! How is a VIP different from me for a freakin' Art Gallery. Couple of swank aged ladies who had a similar grudge outside the closed gate asked, "Sonia Gandhi?!". I said, "Da Vinci maybe?!". With smiles they went their way and left me wondering - NOW WHAT?!

;-) Luxury Brands...Tring Tring...DLF Emporio, here I come. 20 odd kms away, I finally walked into the coveted super-mall. Thankfully I was decently dressed, wish the hair were a lil' less messed though. Ahem. Giorgio Armani Tie (din't buy)...Ermenogildo Zegna Shoes (didn't buy)...Hugo Boss Tee (didn't buy. But was happy to see the exact same trouser I bought from an export reject, sitting pretty at 10k!) ...............and finally Pau...oops, Sir Paul Smith. I could buy everything simply to own it.

"Paul Smith is not fashion, it's art." - Rahul Batra

Bingo! I finally walked out with my first piece of apparel from PS :-) A simple, classy Navy Blue full-sleeved Tee. Peace. Doooonn'ttt ask me the price. No! Haha...

What's nice about such visits is - as they see a 25 something (small career), studying their displays with aplomb and eagerness, they start trying to give me some literature after the early indifference.

Lol...this is the fun part - I probably enter knowing who's their daddy! A chat with the Paul Smith 'cute chick at the counter':

I: Any Indian celeb's patronizing your Brand?
She: Yeah, Mr. Abhay Deol was recently sporting our collection at an Intl. fashion show. You know, some big deal somewhere...
I: Yeah, I prompted Sir Paul Smith to correct his Facebook post on the same, when he got the actor's spelling wrong.
She: Oh!
I: Now do you care for a date (or a discount)?! {Just kidding}

More bike riding around Dilli (Delhi)...and a fabulous evening spent with my Chachu's family, first at their place, then over good Indian food with Gazals at Siri Fort. Was back by mid-night, chilled out of my wits, knowing I needed to feel all of this to overcome the pathetic feeling of the recent weeks.

I thought falling in love a second time was tough. Falling out of it... (smiles)...

Whatever works.

Alchemy of Desire.

2009-11-03T04:14:00.000-08:00

"Rebellion needs a witness. Idealism needs a witness. Sacrifice need a witness."

Golden words those. Leave me wondering what am I desiring by the way. Lets see...

Got back an hour ago on a Friday evening after a long day at work, straight from the client site having co-engineered a significant step forward for my company in the nascent country market...sitting at the back of a chauffeur-driven company Optra (;-)), passing the Crowne Plaza (rather fond memories of my recent company sponsored stay there...) and snaking through both - the rural and the very urbane colonies in the late evening cold and dust of Gurgaon.

At times during the above experience I felt good deep down. Rather grown up...capable. Felt lonely at times. Disconnected from the common man at times.

Life continues to forge forward. I look forward to working on a bloody Saturday, damn! That shall duly be followed by art and craft, biking and wine ... maybe the odd pretty gal too.

One learns to build on the wins in life...and leave behind the losses; however close the bonds maybe...however fond the memories maybe, the desires maybe.

I look at the mirror and see a man who's willing to face up to life...and in some style I must say! ;-)

For now, I miss blasting my BOSE speakers in the small room back in Hyderabad...my usual route to a stress-free weekend. Sigh.

Enough Patience. Good Will. (This time) The End.

2009-11-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

"I can’t talk to you anymore, it’s not that I am mad at you, it’s just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can’t have you and that makes me love you even more."

I can live with the hurt. I can rebuild again. Life moves on I know very well. What remains is a sense of loss. Frankly for someone like me, it ain't difficult to replace her...but when you give your heart and soul to someone, I believe it's only fair that you give your feelings time to recover. The world may wanna jump on from one tree to the next...I'm ok being myself for now. Fuck it - no faking...no lies...no cheapness!

Once again, I have chosen to let go...finally. This time I'm going to take it on the chin. Clean.

Yes, “When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.” And till I see that smile again for myself, in you or someone else...the matter is dead and buried!

Notes from a Small Room.

2009-10-31T03:50:00.000-07:00

An all time favorite track of mine, John Denver's 'Country Roads' has been ringing in my ears lately and I couldn't help but add a little personal touch to it :-)

Life's an acid test these days and I've finally decided to start cutting the chords that were still lingering and hurting each morning and night...

Miss home a lot at times like these, but having been through all of this before...the mind's willing to battle it out this time! ;-)

Anyway, sitting in my official home - a nice cozy room....the home calling emotion remains strong enough in the sudden indifference and cold of Gurgaon...

"Almost heaven...Central Bangalore
Brigade and MG Road...Koramangla and Indiranagar
Life is old there...older than the pains
Younger than the pleasant city breeze...
Country roaaaadsssss..........take me hooooooooooome...to the plaaaacee...
I beeeeloooooooonngggg..." :-)

An appealing version of the original track - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWzeInQaUk4

My Sweet Obsession :-)

2009-10-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

She still makes me melt! She still makes me go absolutely weak in the knees, each time I see her! She still makes me want to smile and cry...she still makes me want to live and die...............

Quoting a famous George Harrison song, "I got my mind set on you...!"

“Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.” - Shakespeare

She loved me enough to leave me a fan for life. So much so, that even when she can't love me in return today, I'm simply delighted to spend every minute I get with her. Share every thought, feeling, word...dinner, drink, whiff of the cold winter air!

I've hurt her flower like heart just enough to realize that loving her blindly and unselfishly is the only way I'm going to do justice to what I feel for her.

I wish her all the happiness in the days to come and hardly care about what life holds for me ahead; but while I can, I will live each moment with her as if it were our last...; will be tough, there will be tears...there will be smiles...but then what the heck, I'm told that's life. Love.

“Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.”

Love and Relations.

2009-10-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

This subject never ceases to surprise the living daylights out of me!

Maybe with the highly complicated and unstable human psyche, this subject isn't worth delving into. Whatever you think, analyze and put down...is going to turn into absolute trash the next day 'cos some one somewhere will give it a new definition!

Interestingly, people seem to know what love is all about. What a relation is all about. Very often they say, "Boss, my story is set...I'm in love and have been in a relation with this girl for a while." Ok. Then there's, "I really love him...". Alright. And then there's, "You know it...I really really loved you." Aahh!

Of course, you fall in 'real real' love in a matter of days and months nowadays. And then fall out of it too...uhh, within 72 hours?! And then in deeeep love with someone within the next 72 hours?! Maybe...maybe...

{Hahahahaha...this is a bloody joke man! Life's a bloody joke these days.}

Maybe my definitions of love are a little different...but, I do believe it takes a while to feel that deep sense of connection with someone. To develop a sense of belonging, and wanting to go the whole 9 yards for that person's sake. And falling out of love...well...takes forever. Having shared so much with someone, you can't just wake up one day and forget it all, can you?!

Then again, some people live for selfish pleasures. Some live for general happiness...; and some, don't know where their happiness lies so end up living for others' happiness.

Well, to each his own, they say...!

As for me, I realized a while ago, my life means nothing without sharing and caring. I'm beginning to realize that my biggest strengths are a humane heart, a strong mind, and an even stronger will power. As a result, my life's goal is soon turning into - giving other people direction in their lives, being their strength, giving free hugs to the heart-broken, helping them stand up for their principles and dreams...

I want to touch lives and leave behind a smile of hope.

Amen.

And Then...

2009-10-26T03:34:00.000-07:00

Life's upto mischief again...lol. Give me a break goddammit! I barely come up to the surface, that it's pushing me deep down again...phew...; And for all possible reasons, this time I'm gonna take it with a smile. 'Cos anything else will only hurt more. She (was...is!) succchhha doll...

{Can't say much more this time...too bloody close to my heart!}

I've got to thank Robert Tepper to have given the world this track. It's literally been my first source of strength in any tough situation for the last 4+ years now :-)

Each time life punches me hard, I've gone back to take inspiration from this movie and this track...and come back with "Hit me harder if you can...let's see what you got!".

I let the track drown my thoughts, trickle through my veins, fire through my brain...LOUD...

Come share my drug:

The Original movie clip - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IuueKw1m98 (and an absolute kick-ass version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn7pz5hXa28)

"We're not indestructible,
Baby better get that straight.
I think it's unbelieveable,
How you give into the hands of fate.
Some things are worth fighting for,
some feelings never die.
I'm not asking for another chance,
I just wanna know why.

There's no easy way out,
There's no shortcut home.
There's no easy way out,
Giving in can't be wrong.

I don't wanna pasify you,
I don't wanna drag you down.
But I'm Feeling like a prisoner,
Like A Stranger in a no-name town.
I See all the angry faces,
Afraid that could be you and me.
Talking about what might have been,
Thinking about what it used to be.

There's no easy way out,
There's no shortcut home.
There's no easy way out,
Giving in can't be wrong.

Baby Baby we can shed this skin,
We can know how we feel inside.
Instead of going down an endless road,
Not knowing if we're dead or alive.
Some things are worth fighting for,
some feelings never die.
I'm not asking for another chance,
I just wanna know why.

There's no easy way out,
There's no shortcut home.
There's no easy way out,
givin in, givin in, can't be wrong."

'Motorcycling Unplugged'

2009-10-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

I write this on the back of my first Diwali away from my parents in 25 years. It was a long (3 day weekend) for that matter. Still couldn't work out a plan to meet them. Pity.

Anyway, all of the above happened as a result of some confusions regarding my 3 month work trip to Gurgaon, currently in progress. So I decided to spend the Diwali weekend with my paternal grandparents :)

Philosophy - If you can't find a straight way to your own happiness. Find it through someone else's! Worked well in this case, 'cos my grandparents were delighted to have me over, and to chit-chat with me for the most of my two days there. We joked, and we talked family, and we mulled over the 50 odd year gap that I was to bridge (and how?!). We also talked liquor, and food (oh, we're Punjabis...ahem!) and everything under the sun. My pleasure, simply put.

Something stayed with me, from the start to the end.

As the subject suggests, I love my bike. The title of this post was the advertising campaign punchline for my bike a decade ago... :-)

A black CBZ it was always going to be, for me! I've got it transferred here for the 3 months I'm going to be around...and boy, o boy...it's got me falling in love with it all over again. 35-40 kms from Gurgaon to Faridabad, and back, through rural Haryana. Brilliant high! I rode the best part of this journey on the famous during the day and infamous at night, 30 km Gurgaon-Faridabad Road, and touched speeds of ~105 km/hr...on this 7 year old beauty!

While I was riding in jungle-like shrubbery and wilderness within short-sight, I could see huge construction cranes and architectural templates on the horizon...; all I could feel was - my bikes roaring engine (which I love enticing at high RPMs)!

Amen.

Life Does Give You a Second Chance...

2009-10-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

15 months ago, the most humanly satisfying (and yet excruciating) 3 months of my life ended. Yes, my 3 months abroad in Sydney, Australia. I was humbled by the nation, their lifestyle. I was shattered by the way my company treated me on the best opportunity of my short career. I promised myself then and there, that never again in my life will I let anyone undervalue my abilities or insult them.

Life's moved on since. I've had a very fruitful year at work and have grown immensely as an individual and as an employee.

And this past week...I've been given a second such opportunity. To travel to Gurgaon and help in developing the disappointing India Market Business. I'm no big deal in this part of the corporate world...3.5 years into my career. I am however, very motivated and passionate about testing myself against challenges like these! In fact, back in the day, I was already making plans for this kind of work 1.5 years ago in Sydney :)

I've been given a wonderful Guest House facility where the staff takes care of me, as if acknowledging the fact that my hard work pays for their's...; I owe it to them. I owe it to myself. For all the ups and down in my love-hate relation with my company, deep down I know I would die for 'it' (not 'them'!)...and feel, I owe the company this one.

I don't know where I'll stand at the end of this Quarter and this project stint, in my company's plans. Or it's logistical planning even. Or my own swinging corporate ambitions.

Screw it. Here's to a sincere effort over the next 2.5 months!

Amen.

Idealism Hurts...Only the Idealist.

2009-10-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

I hit the cross roads of judgment and indifference with painful frequency these days. Each day goes in coming to terms with the surprises life throws on the previous...; I feel like I'm chasing something endlessly, coping with something endlessly;

I feel tired...

I know not anymore the difference between wrong and right. One to me is not done to the other. I thought wrong and right were paths my parents outlined for me in those formative years. It was easy for me to stick to the lines drawn, 'cos the lines were common for almost everyone around me, and thus there were enough reference points.

Today I feel like I've come so far, that the lines are blurred suddenly. It's as if everyone started out from one point all those years ago, and after many a criss-crossing paths and experiences, everyone's landed on a different island. All alone.

I am losing faith in friendships, in relationships, in marriage...in every aspect that involves a human element. Yet, I seek companionship...I chase togetherness...I crave the bliss a partner brings along.

Who defines friendship by the way? What is a relationship? Why do people marry?

And then...do the above define our life? Or is it the hidden convenience of the above bonds...; is it the elusive house (or car)...the dream holiday...what?!

The love for something or someone has lead me to every decision in my life. Yet, I am beginning to deny myself the same love. Yet, I'm beginning to ask myself - does loving someone or something really mean anything beyond temporary happiness? Till life engulfs you and that someone (or something) in it's inevitable flow...; till you're left wondering whether what was said or done was right or wrong...;

Till you're left wondering - "...what is right?" or "what is wrong...?".

Sigh.

A Nation's Pillars; Of the Name 'Gandhi'...and of Gun Shots.

2009-10-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

Both of them have been a big part of history lessons in my formative years, and I felt they deserved to be known better as I've matured. Evidently, both, the Mahatma and Indira have been controversial subjects. The former, among my generations and the latter among a couple of generations older.

I've often been in the midst of heated discussions on how they played with national sentiments and led to mass bloodshed with their (to the defendant), seemingly selfless and patriotic decisions...

You and me probably haven't done much for the country yet, so let's not get too judgmental. It's easy for generations to look back at history (and it's consequences), and safely pass a comment or two on someone's intentions and integrity. It's very easy.

It's not like India and it's oh-so-smart-and-patriotic children haven't had a chance to change the course of the nation in the aftermath of the Gandhi decisions. Why is it that it takes immense courage for that 1 out of 1000 people, to do something for his surroundings, his fellow humans, his state, his country...and eventually himself!

If 2 such people I talk of here, chose to step away from a let-life-take-it's-course way of living and decided to take the mantle of this country in their very human hands, why find flaws in their lives?! Nobody, I repeat...nobody wishes to die. No one wants to say or do something that might cause their demise at the hands of someone's hatred!

So all I wish to offer them in return as of this day is - respect.

Historical Delhi...and a Day Dedicated to Greatness.

2009-09-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

I'm on my second trip to Delhi in the month of September itself. Continuing from my previous trip (as described in the previous post too), I've been studying the history, architecture and culture of Delhi.

Having seen the best of Gurgaon and a some of South and Central Delhi last time around, I chose to complete the heart of this national power capital. I finally spent quality time at the Sardarjang's tomb, at Khan Market (where I picked up a fancy pair of sunglasses) and at Humayun's Tomb. The tombs were a lovely spectacle of Mughal red stone architecture, something I've admired since childhood. With sprawling gardens and minarets around, they're a must watch for any history fan. Humayun's Tomb in particular can be a long lasting experience at sunset.

Next up were a few days of work, culminating on my 25th Birthday! That was on the 25th Sept, but I had one of the most touching experiences of my life a day after...on the Sept 26, 2009...when I went and saw the Gandhi Smriti and the Indira Gandhi Memorial, both in the vicinity of the President's official residence.

I found the Gandhi Smriti to be a very warm and lovingly-dedicated-to-the-Mahatma place. Quotes and instances from his life have been recorded everywhere to build up a very sacred atmosphere. 2 spots that stayed with me -

First, the actual assassination spot, where the Mahatma fell to the bullets at 5:17 pm on Jan 30, 1948...; I was simply overwhelmed by emotions of gratitude and respect for a man who spent the best years of his life chasing a dream...a nation's freedom. And chasing it through an idealist's view...of truth and non-violence.

Second, the 'Bapu's Room', where some of his belongings have been treasured. The simplicity in the chain time-piece, the round spectacles, the lathi, the sandals...white linen all over.

The Indira Gandhi memorial left me smiling throughout. Gutted too. Seeing Indira's pictures from childhood, teens, college times...her belongings...to her renowned dignified self...leaves you with a sense of pride. A pride, seeing a lady leading your nation and holding her own among battle hardened male politicians.

The house is where she was living when gunned down in '84. It's also the same where Rajiv and family were put up till '85...

Over and above all the prestigious ceremonies and commemorations that decorated their glorious lives, I was left humbled seeing day-to-day pictures of both Indira and Rajiv......; of Indira with Rajiv and Sanjay, of Indira with Priyanka and Rahul; of Rajiv supporting Indira at Sanjay's funeral, of Rajiv with his family, of Rajiv hugging Sonia............

And two images stayed with me long after. Will forever.

The stained, bullet-holed cotton saree of Indira Gandhi, from the day of her assassination at the edge of her lawns...from Oct 31, 1984. And the tattered remains of his pyjamas and sneakers, from the day of Rajiv Gandhi's assassination...May 21, 1991.

It had been a long day. I'd left my friend's place in the afternoon, having been dropped half-way to my eventual destination (my relative's place), I was to take a cab and stop at the above Museums en route. The cab guys played dirty, asked for crazy money. I was ok taking a rickshaw but was only worried about the two pieces of heavy luggage on me. I couldn't have left them behind in a rick, unlike a cab. A rickshaw I took, the bags I held/rolled throughout the 4 hours.

I was left dead at the end of it all, at my relative's place in the evening. Interestingly, something was giving me immense strength and drove me to rug it out......the 'Gandhi' name probably...

To greatness. Amen.

Good-Gaon Trip! (Gurgaon...yeah)

2009-09-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yes, finally! The Delhi trips are here :)

While my long planned holiday was scheduled from Sept 20-Oct 4 '09, when my manager offered me an official trip to the Gurgaon office, there was only one outcome. A dear pal having moved to Gurgaon recently and settled well and close to the office in Phase 4 was a blessing.

While much of my trip was going to go at work on weekdays, I knew if I could do most of Gurgaon and some key pockets of South/Central Delhi on the weekends and other evenings, I had a fab Delhi tour on my hands all of September!

Having settled well into my comfy company guest house and enjoyed a great first day at the young, smaller and energetic Gurgaon office, I was rubbing my hands in anticipation for the 1st weekend. After much thought the plan was set - Hauz Khas Village, Khan Market and India Habitat Center were zeroed on for the day out...

Having only heard the words 'Hauz Khas' before and on further research realizing that it is simply a former village turned into a posh community with a few arts and crafts stores around, I was pleasantly surprised with the offerings. Antique furniture, old poster and book stores, high end designer boutiques, the Delhi Art Gallery...well worth a trip. The DAG had a few Jamini Rays and Tagores, which were recognizable, but significantly introduced me to one of India's finest artists - (Late) F.N. Souza.

Well, I can't help but recall the Gallery Manager's dumbfounded response when, looking at a Souza pen sketch on paper I asked - "How much would this cost roughly?", was told "2...3 maybe.", and asked in return "thousands??"...and was finally shut up by a "LAKHS (Mister!)!"

I particularly recommend the Hauz Khaz village to anyone looking forward to a rustic Indian flavor on relaxed holiday.

Next up, we hit the India Habitat Center, a hub for art, theater and exhibits. We were treated to some exquisite thread work on painted canvas by Ruchi Goyal, and Rohit Sharma's delightful to the eye painting exhibition - 'Delhi on Road', with it's cows, trucks and auto rickshaws. I'd heard a lot about the place and got a good look at it's breathtaking architecture, while finally soaking in the much talked about artistic vibe!

With Rahul Batra, window shopping is never a no-no :) Actual wallet burns are forever on the cards :P The popular central Delhi expat hub - Khan Market - welcomed me with much aplomb and quiet a hip crowd. Tom Ford/Giorgio Armani wooed me with their worth-dying-for sunglasses among the memorable moments. Having walked the whole place and come to the end of a tiring evening, me and my buddy were sure as hell hungry.

Tried the 2 Big Chill outlets, were respectfully informed that (at 4 pm), the waiting was about an hour! Fine.

Having heard so much about it over the years, Pandara Road was a ready and distance-wise convenient choice. 'Have More' (of the 'One Night at a Call Center' fame) served me one of the best North-Indian meals in recent times. The mutton kebab platter was delectable.

A looonggg drive back home was calling...a day fabulously spent...Delhi, I was in love with life and it's generosities on this day.

MBA. Oh My God.

2009-08-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

Really, I still can't cope with the global obsession with 'an MBA'. It's almost considered equivalent to mythical Rebirth nowadays...Flower of Youth maybe...corporate Viagra even!

Ever since I realized I wasn't going to be an under-graduate from the famed Ivy League in my formative years (actually, just after school), I'd set my sights on doing my Master's degree from a reputed organization. Harvard. London Business School probably.

In the 7 years since, I've passed through an unsatisfying-and-testing 4 yr Engineering degree and have finished 3 years in a challenging corporate environment. Challenging simply because I like to make things tough for myself. Else, I'd say my job was a piece of cake. But then, how much cake can you eat at a time anyway? Don't we (people with taste buds) end up looking for the rough snack for a change?

The point - you need to have taste buds to enjoy food. You need to have life buds to enjoy every experience similarly. Life, like food, needs to be felt, smelt and tasted from time to time in different forms to realize what's to your liking. And what's not.

One stalwart after the other I hear, year after year I realize - it's not much about what an MBA does to/with you, rather what you can do to the degree...the course...that time spent.

It really is that simple, the MBA to my 'educated/researched' knowledge is a lot about understanding the mechanisms of a company, a business, a market, the people involved, the stakes etc. These are subjects and topics one can't learn. They all need to be experienced, felt, understood. And the only way that can happen is by getting your hands dirty in the business end of things. Yes, work-experience!

And if the whole course is about understanding what you've already been through in your work-ex, why not understand while you're a part of it anyway?! Hehe...here in lies the problem. While going about their jobs, not everyone realizes that an MBA degree is there for the taking in their surroundings. In each conversation with someone better or some less capable. In each meeting. In each success and failure. In each company policy. In each company decision.

Isn't it all about keeping your ears, eyes and minds open? I'm coming around this fact day-by-day. It's not funny how many short-sighted, data-dependent, ridiculous people-managing robots I've come across in the corporate world, despite the MBA tag firmly sitting on their desks!

PEOPLE O PEOPLE, think again...isn't (common sense + logic + human feelings + desire to learn) >= MBA?!

I'm not saying, don't do your Masters. I'm not saying the MBA is futile across the board. Not at all. Study, yes. Hell, it's better than working mindlessly and directionless. And if nothing else, while process is important to solving a mathematical problem - you need a formula to start. So knowledge helps to get things started. It's a great catalyst when transitioning careers, interests.

Don't follow trends, people, peers, headlines blindly. Let a Masters make you a master at what you aspire. Let it catapult you to another level all together. Let it be an experience in itself. Let it be something you live. Something you learn from...rather than mug up and vomit out.

Phew!

My David Beckham.

2009-08-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

{I'm overflowing with thoughts right now, wondering where to start!}
10
9
8
7
.
.
.
"Beckham shoootsss...and BECKHAM SCOOOORES!"
{a line I heard years ago in some game and has stayed with me forever...}
.
.
.
{England need to score and draw the game, to qualify for WC '02. Captain Beckham, stands on the free kick...}
"93rd min at Old Trafford. Beckhaaaaammmm...YEEEESSSSS!"
.
.
1
0

You'll probably remember him as the guy sporting Emporio Armani briefs in hoardings all over the western world; probably as the player who cost England that famous game at WC '98 against Argentina, thanks to his Red Card; probably as a guy who has a Hollywood film named after him; probably as the guy who couldn't dribble or head the ball for nuts, but could wear his wife's lingerie (media lies) and roam about in a sarong; probably something else...

I became a fan and follower of David sometime early 2001, when I was in 11th grade in school. I've read, seen, heard almost everything that he's done since till date. It's his life before that I was always keen on learning about...

I'd often seen releases and publications of his two (auto-)biographies - 'My World' and 'My Side'. A week ago when I was browsing through a favorite book store in Bangalore, I chanced upon an old copy of 'My World' for real cheap! Of course... :) I finished reading it this morning and decided, I will finally write on the fella!

It'll take me days to recall every memory and association of Becks in my life, so I won't be able to get into all of it in this post. Anyway, I have two posters of his in my room right now. In front - Becks dressed up, to receive his OBE; behind me - Becks kitted, on the ball, for an Adidas ad.

Some of the things that stayed with me from all these years and his book -

His grandfathers supported London clubs Tottenham and Arsenal, and wanted him to play for them (Jesus!). His dad only ever supported one club, (and with his mom) watches their games till today - Manchester United.

A 16 yr old skinny, blonde floppy-haired bloke joined United's youth academy in July '91. In these 18 years of football he's become a legend at United, played 4 years at Real Madrid and managed to impress this year at AC Milan (even at the age of 34!). You can safely say that these are the 3 most legendary clubs in the 3 best leagues of the world.

And yet, some people question David's ability ... :)

Even though his lifestyle's (as above) raised questions, I have always believed what I saw, felt and finally read from him. David simply desires good health and personal happiness.

Personally, I respect him hugely and adore him for the fact that till today (despite the sad end to his time there), he openly confesses his love for Man Utd.

The guy will wish to be remembered as a doting father and a loving husband. David will die to be remembered as a hardworking footballer who always did what he could do best and kept working to improve on his weaknesses. Above all, he will wish to remembered as just another human being who got a chance to live his dreams.

Mister Beckham, I promise at least one person has already granted you these wishes. Me.

A lovely video compilation - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIclFfGk5No

His life documented - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Beckham

Becks, to your health and happiness. Amen.

Kolkata Memoirs - 2

2009-08-13T07:39:00.000-07:00

Another piece I wrote long ago, probably that (foggy Nov '08) evening itself...

I’m a self-confessed, and now, widely acclaimed shopaholic. A week in Kolkatta and what’ve I bought – books and paintings. What?! ... No Clothes?! Well, yes…did pick up this tee on my last evening, from the Oxford Bookstore on Park Street - a place I visited hmm…at least twice a day during my trip. It’s a hand-painted one with the tag having the following poem –

“I sit under a tree…
Does that happen any more?
…I sit in front of my laptop,
like every day…I think of that tree,
whose shade would comfort many a soul,
and mine too! That whiff of air on my face…
eyes transfixed beyond…grass tickling
the soles of my feet and…the Mynah, she sings
on the tree, while I write the music,
inspired by the story clouds tell every day…
The muse goes on…And then,
My laptop announces “Low Battery, Stand By”
An awakening to reality…
I want to go back to my clouds,
The phone rings…
A voice, excited, exclaims
“I’ve painted the song of the Mynah”

- Hand Painted t-shirts by Maati

Oops, sitting here in my small but comfy room on Mirza Ghalib St. in Kolkata, as I see saw into my thoughts, I suddenly see - my laptop announces “Low Battery, Stand By”…an awakening to reality…I want to go back to my clouds…

- Me

Kolkata Memoirs - 1

2009-08-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

Today, the friend (whom I dedicated my previous post to) and who made my Kolkata trip (Nov '08) so special left Google and Hyd :( ... and I can't help but live up to a promise I once made her. To write on her city!

Some excerpts from my stop-start writings over the past few months...

"I used to wonder what made an Australian colleague of mine claim openly and firmly - “Kolkata is my favorite city in India.” I couldn’t say it better…or maybe “Kolkata aami onek bhalo bhashi…” would be a warmer tribute. I was supposed to write this on the back of one the most incredible weeks of my life. I’m late, but I write it anyway. Kolkata is not Delhi. It’s not Mumbai. It’s not Bangalore or Chennai. It’s not even aging wine. Aaarre Dada! It’s ‘Some Place Else’…

I haven’t even started and yet I have said it all. And you wouldn’t know what I’m hinting at till you spend 1-2 weeks in Kolkata. It’s art, architecture. It’s paintings, it’s novels, it’s movies, it’s street-food, it’s charming. Still reflecting glimpses from the Raj…Kolkata is India. It’s the India I’ve always wanted to know, see and feel proud of.

I’m not sure where to start. I came here on an official trip, was (mostly) based out of The Park hotel and did almost everything Wikipedia and Lonely Planet suggested. Wait, having known and heard so much of Kolkata from close pals in the last couple of years, I’m sure I did more. In fact, it was almost like landing in a second home, the moment I came out of the airport on that November afternoon..."

- Me

And Another One Leaves...

2009-08-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

I'm a very choosy & finicky person on most things where I can make a choice. Over the years, 'people' have been one such subject.

When I first met her, I thought she was too loud and too in-your-face. Today, she left my surroundings (work place and city) for good...and we could barely exchange words...I could barely look into her eyes. Today, 3 years on, she was too silent and inconspicuous in her departure...

I had once left the following words as a testimonial for her on a social networking forum. Today, I want to treasure them forever...

"shukla ji. she’s been a dear friend for various reasons over the past couple of years. And after showing me around Kolkata through a perspective we’ve often shared and relished in the past, here’s what I’d like to culminate…

she sees the world in black and white, and loves to splash colors across it in a way a little kid would if you give him paints and a canvas. Just that, her imagination is up there at another level. shukla ji is our very own version of jamini ray and samir biswas. She’s of course our next door shakespeare with a dual personality bordering on ramanujam’s. She has a (self confessed) bit of Cleopatra, mother Teresa and Maa Kali.

i’ve enjoyed the cuppa tea at Princep Ghat with you as much as I have showing you my extravagant shopping sprees! thanks for putting the fine final touches in the mesmerizing painting called Kolkata, I’ve just experienced. There’s too much fire in there, too much left unexpressed…shukla ji, hope to see it all leave an indelible mark."

Rusha Shukla. Bong-ujju. Screw 'Smart Alec', Smart Rusho is here. Whack job a minute. Picture of strength and dignity in another. Brilliant with language, numbers and at biology. As humble and level-headed a person I'd met back then. As caring and compassionate as they came. If I wage a war against the corporate world some day, she could be my one sole reason. If Corporate Google thought it was too big for this world, well, having seen the best and worst of it I must exclaim - Google, you weren't good (forget great) enough for her!

Nothing exemplified this friend of mine better than this post of mine from a while back.

I wish her well. And a lot of luck. People like her need luck in this unfair, desperate-for-itself world.

Amen.

Tribute: Kargil July 1999. 10 years on...

2009-07-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

July 27, 2009 was the exact date.

For me the Kargil war holds a lot of memories. Rarely does a war leave anyone happy. This war almost had my father involved, certainly had his Battalion involved, and I've grown as a kid in that same Battalion knowing many a soldier.

My father got posted out of the Battalion from Sopore to Bangalore, a mere 3 months before the Kargil war started. Every soldier dreams of battling the enemy shoulder to shoulder with his comrades. Till date he curses his luck on that one...

As family, we were happy to see him with us miles away, rather than go through the trauma of sitting by the TV and phone day and night waiting for a positive update.

This war gave us a lot of national heroes. None as televised and celebrates as a certain (Posth.) Capt. Vikram Batra, PVC.

My scoop -

Vikram was commissioned in 13 J&K Rifles under my father (then Lt. Col VK Batra, SM), and often joined my father on operations as a new officer...often talked to my father as 'another Batra'...almost a son I'd assume.

While this was the scene in Sopore, my family was in Belgaum (as Sopore was a non-family field insurgency town) and hosted Vikram over a dinner when he came down for his Commandos course. My first impression of him was of an affectionate, enthusiastic, unassuming man from the Himachal hills. He remarked that he was always heading for business and his elder brother for the army. Somehow roles reversed and albeit disappointed, a passionate big-hearted young man adorned the Indian Army greens...

If was a really nice evening that me and my mother spent with Vikram, as he was busy telling us stories of how Dad was a terror in the valley (!) and how he was longing home food in Belgaum (getting rogered at Commandos!).

Still remember him cycling back to his course barracks/rooms close to mid-night, worried he'd crossed the stipulated night-out time limit :)

On his return to the Battalion, Vikram sent us a lovely 'Thank You' card signing off 'VKB' and reminding us of Dad's (same) initials! He was family thereafter.

His exploits in the war are folklore now so I wouldn't dare to qualify his soul stirring deeds anymore.

I do dare to relive that moment, when my family (with Dad) got back after picking up our first ever big wattage woofer music system in Bangalore...and having celebrated the man for much of the previous few days...were greeted with the news of his martyrdom...

For a while there was only silence and tears for company at home. A great soldier was immortalized. A wonderful human lost...

There were many others who were heroic, many others who laid down their lives, many who lived to tell their tale...

I'll remember them forever with the most sincere of human emotions.

Jai Mata Di.

Nostalgia...

2009-07-24T05:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a funny day, this. Yup...one of those... :)

Though I've been sitting on my desk for most of today, continuing the pressing work I've landed my holy stars into....... {sorry, lost trail} ..........my mind keeps wandering.

I've gone back to those walks on M.G Rd, Brigade Rd...to those games of football every evening in Bangalore; I've gone back to that evening at Victoria Memorial...to the boat ride in Hoogly...to the wandering on Park Street, and to the book browsing in Oxford Bookstore (all Kolkata); I've gone back to the shopping trips, sight seeing, relative-visiting with my family in Delhi; I've gone back to the fabulous beer and wine drinking sessions with good pals and flatmates (back then) in Mumbai; I've gone back to some lovely moments with my closest pals in Hyd over the last 3 yrs (current location)...... {was it a smiling face, a cozy hug} ................................................

Why I wonder...??

Is it because I met this pal, a genuinely nice person and ex-colleague, who was in office to meet people a couple of months after he quit this workplace and went home to Bangalore...is it because a very very close pal of the last 3 years is a couple of weeks away from quitting my workplace, and will be leaving this city for her hometown Kolkata - a place she made me fall in love with forever (in Nov '08)...or is it 'cos one of my closest pals of today, an absolute sweetheart - is away for a couple of days to Gurgaon (yeah, almost there) and is shopping/catching up with family there; For all you know, it maybe because one of the pals from the Mumbai trip, my room-mate, uploaded those snaps after 2.5 yrs today on Facebook...

I feel a little lost at such times with so much change around me...with the monsoons here and the cool evening breeze sending you down memory lane every now and then...

Good times come and go; you miss them. Good people come and go; you miss them...

Life...

1096 Days...

2009-07-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

On July 2, 2009, I completed 3 years in the city of Hyderabad...a City of Nizams, delectable food...a city still trying to find it's balance between a royal and rich history, and a culturally-cosmetic technology-industry laden present. Rather than singularly dwell on this subject, I'd like to add another milestone to the post, a more significant ingredient to my life's flavor in this city.

On July 3, 2009...I completed 3 years at Google India Pvt. Ltd. 3 years at 'the' Google Inc. 3 years in (AdWords (?!)) Online Advertising...

What does it feel like? ... :) As of this minute, as good as ever in my life!

How've I managed that? 'Cos despite all the issues one copes with at work, at home, in inter-personal relations, the one thing I've realized that matters the most to me (in these 3 years) and which I should do absolutely anything to chase is...my happiness.

{Disclaimer: I consider myself noble enough to confirm the above will not come at others' cost...not anymore :)}

Celebrations? Hah! Of course...I decided not to work at all on July 3, 2009! Haha...the fact that it was a (not-much-to-do) Friday, helped. I wore an ensemble to work that would classify as 'most comfortable' in my wardrobe to reflect my state of mind on this day. I genuinely felt comfortable with myself, my surroundings, and my workplace that day :)

On the day after, last night, I joined my closest buddies here on a lounge-pub-disc hopping trip with the sole aim - making merry! The fact that we entered 'complimentary' at both these places, in 5 Star Hotels...was delightful. So while I went 'uber' with my drink in the the first place - 'Illusion', a vodka-triple sec-lime-watermelon syrup cocktail...it was lovely to down a cold Kingfisher beer (back in town after the recent beer industry-government troubles) talking army backgrounds and bla bla at a personal favorite Irish pub!

What next? Well well well...just when I was gonna go the 'all's well that ends well...' thought and begin looking at my options, I was struck by the 'make hay while the sun shines...' thought :)

Hay making on...

Cheers!

me vs myself.

2009-06-18T23:53:00.000-07:00

myself: you think you know me?
me: you keep writing about myself and my feelings; guess, you do know me...or rather, i think i know you.
myself: i think you think you do, but you think again, cos i don't think you can think as much to know what i'm capable of thinking!
me: ??!!! freakin' psycho...

{me giving up...myself thinks he wins!}

One For The Collection. Undoubtedly.

2009-06-16T00:29:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: The link has been picked, and the post inspired straight from a colleagues blog. And the justification - is also plagiarized :) Posterity.

Being a complete English movie buff, particularly following those with thought provoking themes or monologues...I can't help but treasure this collection. Add to that, the fact that all the Al Pacino monologue videos I had bookmarked otherwise, are now nicely cataloged on a single page...makes my life easier. So without further ado -

The 50 Greatest Movie Monologues

Cheers!

'King' Eric Cantona. Manchester United Legend - Part 4

2009-06-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

PS: Article taken straight from www.manutd.com. I just wanted to treasure it.

"Cantona: The fan

In just five years at Old Trafford, Eric Cantona built up a mutual love with United supporters which remains frozen in time...

Eric Cantona remains the most popular player ever to pull on the famous red shirt. George Best was arguably more skilful, Sir Bobby Charlton played more games and scored more goals, and Denis Law was a huge fan favourite and crowned ‘the king’ by the Stretford End.

Yet even in their pomp, none of the Reds’ holy trinity enjoyed the affinity with the supporters that the Frenchman achieved. He was only here for five years, but his impact was enormous. As detailed here on ManUtd.com over the course of this week, Cantona was catalyst to our recent successes, was the ultimate showman, a goalscorer and an inspirational leader. Yet United supporters’ enduring love affair with Eric goes far further than this.

What he did with a football helped, of course - Alex Ferguson described him as his “dream player” – but he also had the other two key ingredients to becoming a United idol: passion and fight. Those attributes sometimes got him in trouble, OK, often got him in trouble, but United fans loved him for it. Some called him a ‘flawed genius’ but to us Reds he was perfectly imperfect. We just saw his readiness to fight for the cause – a virtue particularly appreciated at a time when “Stand up if you hate ManU” could be heard all across the country, even at cricket matches.

And it wasn’t a one-way love affair. Back in 1995, during his eight-month ban for single-handedly attempting to kick racism out of football, he said: “I cannot stress enough how important United fans are to me. They are one of the reasons why I continue doing

what I’m doing. The fans here are really special. They make me happy, and when I’m happy I perform.”

Such heart-felt declarations were common, and meant more because they were from someone who rarely wasted words (even his "when seagulls follow the trawler” quote had the desired effect of confusing a room full of journalists). He wasn’t the first to openly express his affection to the fans, but it just seemed to mean more coming from him.

When he was at his pomp, following United became as much about watching him as it was the team – something not seen since the days of Bestie bamboozling fullbacks (and wingers, centre backs, and sometimes his own team mates). But whereas the Irishman’s looks attracted legions of female admirers to Old Trafford, Eric’s appeal was purely football. Not attending risked the chance you’d miss the Frenchman’s latest piece of magic. No man is bigger than the club, or so the mantra goes, but Eric came mighty close.

Even retiring at the age of 30, which seemed criminally early, has merely made the love affair stronger. At the premier of his latest film Looking for Eric [released today] he was greeted by over 100 United fans – there to see their hero in Manchester (well, Salford) one more time.

It’s perhaps fitting in a week where the most recent wearer of the no.7 shirt looks to have got his wish of a move to Madrid, that our thoughts are also be the most popular wearer of that jersey. Ronaldo has been a good servant during his six-year reign, Beckham and Robson were red to the core, but there is simply no comparison to the Frenchman, ‘the king’, Dieu, Eric Cantona.

He might not have kicked a ball for us in over a decade, but he’s rarely far from United fans’ thoughts. We’ve new heroes now, but none that can match the popularity that the Frenchman enjoyed. The "Ooh-aah Cantona” and “12 days of Christmas” chants continue to be sung, something that continues to surprise him.

“The fans watch lots of games and see many players year after year and perhaps they might have forgotten me,” he said recently. “But I’m so glad that they haven’t. I would understand if one day they did forget me, but I love them and the fact that they haven’t. It makes me feel like I am still on the pitch and still at the club.”

There are plenty of us that still wish that was the case."

'King' Eric Cantona. Manchester United Legend - Part 3

2009-06-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

PS: Article taken straight from www.manutd.com. I just wanted to treasure it.

"Cantona: The leader

Some spend their whole lives aspiring to be leaders; others, like Eric Cantona, give off an overpowering magnetism that others cannot help but follow…

When Eric Cantona arrived at Old Trafford, complete with his enfant terrible tag, the notion of handing him the captain’s armband seemed unfathomable. Four and a half years later, he retired as club captain, having led United to a fourth league title in five seasons and played a central role in the development of some of the finest young talents the club had produced.

It would be easy to assume that the simmering Frenchman underwent some kind of change during his ban for assaulting a Crystal Palace supporter. Having one’s career on ice for nine months, of course, is long enough to cool anyone down. He excelled as a coach to local youngsters during his community service, but there was no defining moment of clarity which prompted an inner evolution. He never changed; he merely assembled a band of followers with his model professionalism and natural gnosis.

It was outside Eric’s control that he returned to a far younger side than the one he had left on the field at Selhurst Park. Gone were Ince, Kanchelskis and Hughes, while the Nevilles, Beckham, Butt and Scholes were first team regulars. For those wide-eyed youngsters, thrown in at the deep end, it was impossible not to see Cantona, past indiscretions and all, as an example to follow. A man described by Sir Alex Ferguson as: “A model pro. The best prepared footballer I have ever had.” Perhaps most persuasively for those of tender years around him, Cantona was a man who carried everything off with a swagger.

"The manager gave him this free role, letting him express himself, do his flicks and score his goals. I think that's why the lads looked up to him so much,” recalls Lee Sharpe. “They thought: 'If I can be anyone, that's who I want to be. I want to be treated like that. I want to play like that. I want to be loved like that.’”

But Eric’s influence extended beyond his playing peers; his opinion was among the most valued at Old Trafford. Youth coach Eric Harrison, fresh from pumping six future England internationals into the Reds’ senior squad, went to the Frenchman to see how the club’s local youngsters compared to those in Cantona’s home country.

"He replied that, ability-wise, they were similar, but he thought the French boys received the ball better than our young players,” reveals Harrison. “I took that onboard straight away and I acted. I introduced more juggling with the ball because it developed good ball control. Surely, if it was good enough for Cantona, it was good enough for my boys.”

Although his words carried substantial weight, Cantona was a character to opted to say little and do much, most notably in the 1995/96 season run-in, where he scored the winner in five of seven 1-0 Premier League wins and the FA Cup Final.

His deeds and aura prompted Sir Alex Ferguson to make him club captain when Steve Bruce left for Birmingham City in 1996. Not one to follow the ranting, raving model of leadership, Cantona had no considered method of motivating his team-mates. He just inspired awe in them all by being himself.

“The players genuinely liked Eric even though he was very often a distant, almost remote figure,” Andy Cole wrote in his autobiography. “Inside the dressing room he would open up, revelling in the banter and mickey-takes. He could mix it with anyone, although he clearly preferred to be a very private individual. You didn't mess about with him, whether he was playing football or having a pint. Off the pitch I saw him as a loner, but a great guy, and the way he behaved laid down a very obvious message: that he was his own man.”

One others couldn’t help but follow."

'King' Eric Cantona. Manchester United Legend - Part 2

2009-06-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

PS: Article taken straight from www.manutd.com. I just wanted to treasure it.

"Cantona: The showman

This week sees the release of Looking For Eric, starring Reds legend Eric Cantona. Having played to the crowd all his life, a move to the silver screen always beckoned the enigmatic Frenchman…

Every top-level footballer who takes the field knows that the world is watching them. Very few have the nerve to stare back.

Back straight, chest puffed, Eric Cantona would peacock strut around the field, unashamedly flaunting his plumage. Watching United in the mid-90s wasn’t a trip to the football; that was merely a sub-plot in the weekly adventures of the mercurial Frenchman. Exaggerated gestures – hands perched on hips, or thrown frantically around – weren’t just made to the immediate target, they were a gift from star to audience; an insight into the mood of the lead character.

Cantona had the ability to do anything he liked with a ball, but there was scarcely any over-indulgence. The ability to play the simple – and invariably the right – pass was his greatest gift, but his unerring need to entertain meant even the most routine exchange of possession was carried off with classy panache.

The Frenchman never lost sight of football’s position as an entertainment business. Any who sought to blight the game with negativity or stifling tactics were scorned, hence the dismissal of famed French holding midfielder Didier Deschamps as ‘a water-carrier’.

The poise and assuredness in Cantona was unyielding and impossible to ignore. Throw in his bad-boy reputation from repeated dismissals and skirmishes with authority in French football, and here was a character who could capture the world’s attention. Hence Eric fronting numerous Nike advertising campaigns, even long after his retirement.

Most memorable was 1996’s effort, when a host of the world’s top players were pitched into a battle against demonic spoilers from hell (late challenges, stray elbows, Hannibal Lecter mouthguards - it could easily have been Vinny Jones’ Wimbledon). Inevitably, it was Eric who had the killer line and the starring role. Who else could stop the ball, upturn his collar and mutter ‘au revoir’ before belting a shot through the devil’s chest?

Previously, a Nike campaign had accompanied the completion of Eric’s nine-month ban for assaulting Crystal Palace fan Matthew Simmons. “He’s paid for his crimes, now it’s their turn,” billboard posters ominously advised ahead of his comeback against Liverpool. Followed from start to finish by camera lenses, Cantona took just two minutes to lay on Nicky Butt’s opener before having the final say with a late penalty of his own. Not content with the goal, Eric embarked on a jubilant pole dance at the Scoreboard End, giving the world’s press their Monday morning lead.

Never before has an individual been so scrutinised during a match, but to Cantona it was just another chance to shine in the spotlight. Another big occasion which cried out for a star man – the kind of situation in which he invariably thrived.

Two FA Cup Final appearances featured three goals, with two more scored across three Charity Shields (not to mention his 1992 hat-trick for Leeds against Liverpool in the season's traditional curtain-raiser at Wembley).

He top-scored in the 1993/94 and 1995/96 Premier League title charges, bagging a string of vital winners along the way. The more pressure, the better Cantona performed. Some may justifiably point to the Frenchman’s inconsistent form in the Champions League (five goals in 16 appearances), but the fact that United never truly came to terms with the unforgiving nature of Europe’s elite competition during his time at Old Trafford provides some mitigation.

It was one such defeat, to Borussia Dortmund in April 1997, that contributed to Cantona's decision to call it a day. The departure, when it came the following month, was inevitably dramatic - a press conference held without any prior warning.

There was no fading away, no slinking to the back of the stage, merely a step forward, one last emphatic bow and an exit, stage right. Like any great showman."

'King' Eric Cantona. Manchester United Legend - Part 1

2009-06-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

PS: Article taken straight from www.manutd.com. I just wanted to treasure it.

"Cantona: The catalyst

There have been longer, less torrid love affairs, but few are burned into the memory as indelibly as Eric Cantona’s five-season fling at Old Trafford. In the week he hits the silver screen in Looking For Eric, ManUtd.com examines why the Frenchman remains one of the club’s most idolised players…

That Eric Cantona's arrival from Leeds only slightly preceded the end of United's 26-year wait for the League title was no coincidence – the Frenchman was the brooding, swaggering catalyst behind the most successful period in the Reds' history.

Prior to his signing, the Reds were teetering between nearly men and battle-hardened winners. So much was already in place for success: The unflinching defence, a midfield combining industry and incision, and the blend of brutality and subtlety in attack.

It was a side which could claim to be the finest in the land, yet still missed that telling je ne sais quoi of champions. Cantona’s arrival provided the Gallic afflatus to send United over the tipping point - just as he had with Leeds some nine months earlier as the Whites pilfered the 1991/92 title from under the Reds' noses.

Midway through the following campaign, with the Reds in steady but unspectacular form, a phone call from Leeds chief executive Bill Fotherby provoked a moment of opportunism from Sir Alex. Fotherby had dialled Old Trafford to broach the potential signing of Denis Irwin. Instead, less than an hour later, he and Leeds boss Howard Wilkinson had agreed

to send Cantona across the Pennines for a cut-price £1million.

With that spontaneous counter-offer, Ferguson had bought the player who would bring glory back to United. As the manager subsequently admitted in his autobiography: “One of the most extraordinary periods in the history of Manchester United was about to begin.” But beyond simply signing a top class talent who guaranteed more points and prizes, the Reds had snared a man with the mentality and charisma of a champion. Even the manager was taken aback by the immediacy of Cantona’s off-field impact.

At the end of his first training session at The Cliff, Eric strolled up to Sir Alex and asked him for two players and a goalkeeper, so that he may continue to practice. An extra half-hour was spent with the Frenchman volleying crosses from either side. The next day, half the first team squad stayed for the extra-curricular session.

“Many people have justifiably acclaimed Cantona as a catalyst who had a crucial impact on our successes while he was with the club,” said the manager, “but nothing he did in matches meant more than the way he opened my eyes to the indispensability of practice.”

A squad who, hitherto, had little tangible success to back up their glaring promise was revitalised. Over a quarter-century of anguish and near-misses was soon a distant memory as the Reds elbowed their way to the head of a three-way tussle for the title alongside Aston Villa and Norwich City. There was even the flourish of champions – seven

straight wins to end the season in style.

The winning habit had started and Cantona, chest puffed, collar upturned, was the charismatic face of the new champions. Previously something of a journeyman, the Frenchman had a loving home at last. He had achieved near-divinity with United supporters, who saw in Cantona the edgy visionary which had lived deep within Manchester’s favourite sons, from Best to Bez.

As the adulation gushed forth from the stands, the trophies were flowing at a similar rate. In his five seasons at Old Trafford, Cantona won four Premier League titles and two FA Cups. Indeed the only season in which the Reds failed to clinch England’s crown, the French talisman was spectacularly sidelined. Had Cantona not taken exception to the baitings of Crystal Palace supporter Matthew Simmons at Selhurt Park and collected a nine-month ban for his troubles, the history books could very easily tell the tale of United’s five successive league titles between 1993 and 1997.

Cantona’s importance during his playing career was obvious - he was team talisman and a phenomenal player. But it’s the seismic shift in mentality he instigated among the players which continues to be felt around Old Trafford. Over 12 years after he retired, the winning habit he championed shows no sign of culmination."

Operation 'Dinner Out'!

2009-06-08T04:53:00.000-07:00

Scene:

Girl and guy been paly for a while. Girl asks guy out for dinner, guy happily accepts. Then there's life and people and work and the whole world conspires against them. Girl says, "plan's still pending...". Guy says, "Of course...and let's get this 'pending' tag off it."

Then on a routine Sunday, after much contemplation and see-sawing, after wading off situations and people ... girl prompts, "Dinner?!"...guy says, "Thank God!".

Next 1 hour - guy gets dressed per his English mood and sprays on his newest fragrance. Done in 20-25 mins. Girl...uhhh, does the girl thing. Messages after 20 mins, "15 mins more please." Turns up about 25 mins after the 15. Guy was prepared :) to wait...and for the beauty walking his way.

Heavy downpour. Thankfully, girl had a car.

Girl gives her car keys to guy and lets him be chivalrous by taking the wheel. Guy gets the key in, turns it a couple of times and after playing with a few switches around, realizes he can't start the car. So much for chivalry!

After 2-3 eye-exchanges, girl runs out into the rain, takes the key and says smiling, "Chill, I'll drive." Guy feels silly. Girl tries starting the car...and holly molly, the car doesn't start! Guy feels relieved (lol...seriously.) Girl's freaked out that after all that dressing up, her car gives up on her (with the rain pouring down). Guy states the obvious (as a light bulb idea), "Lets take a rickshaw man..."; girl slowly nods and agrees to it.

Having remembered to pick a jacket for the lady, an umbrella along - they hit the road, get a rick ... and make it to this warmly appealing Thai restaurant. Finally!

{Ahem} Over a lovely meal where she is given the privilege of ordering {ahem} - my dear orders a chicken starter which leaves her red-nosed and watery-eyed, and (the rather apologetic) guy licking his fingers! F.u.n.n.y.

They chit-chat at the restaurant like they're the only ones around for miles discussing everything from love and relations, stock and shopping, holidaying and careers ... bla bla bla. Reach home ... hit her balcony, and time flies like never before. Okaaay, ok fiiiine - guy chats and chats like he's coming out of a communicative ban! Anyway, fabulous, fabulous evening. One for the blog ... ;-)

In the end the guy can't help but wonder...

"While every woman loves dressing up (for hours) ... she never realizes what a stunner she turns out, when dressing down after the big evening ...

When the heels are knocked off; when the ear rings are shed; when the lip gloss wears off; when the locks fly across the face ... "

Racist Attacks Against Indians in Aus.

2009-06-02T03:01:00.000-07:00

The initial reaction of every (average/common) Indian worldwide will be one of anger. Mine was of worry...of disappointment. Worry because I know a few Indians there (including my own cousins in Melbourne) and disappointment 'cos I feel we've called such treatment upon ourselves with our global conduct.

Exactly a year ago, I was in Australia on a 3 month trip myself. I was also subject to certain racist tags like "Paki...", "Asian...", "Bloody Indians...", and felt my blood boiling at those instances. I'm a very aggressive person when I want to be. Yet, I walked back silenced and red-faced the first two times, maintaining my dignity. 'Cos hey - I create my own image and dignity! AND DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ME BASED ON ASSUMPTIONS.

By the third time, I'd been around for almost 2.5 months and seen it all. On many an occasions, I had acted like 'An Indian' myself. Though I had done nothing disrespectful or harmful to anyone around, I'd simply acted silly or reacted embarrassingly to a lot of things foreign to me coming from a developing, struggling-to-live-their-dreams society.

So while I gave it back to those old natives scoffing at me, deep down I'd long realized why it (racism) was being dished out to me. I was like a little kid who hasn't been shown the marketplace ever, and goes wild on seeing one for the first time.

That said, I'd like to take a more mature standpoint on the global issue of Indians emigrating to 'greener' pastures and often being subjected to such humiliation. Why? Is it because the new home-land perceives us as outsiders and never really accepts us? And if that's the case, why (I ask again)? Is it because we go there only for material gains and never to be a part of their culture, society, governance, lives?

A small example - when I went traveling in Aus., I made sure I read and researched enough about the place, the people, their culture, the good, the bad and the avoidable subjects. I'd be accepted a lot better that way I thought, and expectedly, was. Even if this was pure fun sake, it helped me understand how human sentiments should be handled.

How many cases do we know of where the Indian immigrant went to another county to primarily 'run away' from India and it's widely documented 3rd world issues. ALMOST ALL (barring the ones who went after a certain age for a better deal in education/work/life). Frankly, on most days I'd have the same reason...but that is a different issue to be dealt with at home sometime.

Wasn't the Government and natives of Mumbai professing the same recently...Why? Think a little deeper and one see's the grudge against the immigrant is common. And strikingly, the motives of immigration are common too. Money, better life. No intention to mix, mingle, dwell, embrace...

Alas.

Redemption. Maverick maturing... :)

2009-05-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

I'm so freaking kicked about life right now, I could write a novel.
I could even buy my dream pair of Nike Prestos and make a last minute
entry at the Bangalore Marathon tomorrow! Lol.

{Ok ok, calming down...}

I write this from my gorgeous glass dining table in my parental home
(Bangalore) where I've reached this morning for a week long holiday!
I write this post having had a nice hot 'home' breakfast and now gobbling
up fresh (cut) fruit. I write this post with the sunlight glowing nearby
from my balcony...

In the past few days I've finally overcome the demons of the past year.
An year in which - I had serious issues at work. In life. Had lost a 2 year
relationship with a noble soul.

Today, I sit on this vacation knowing I've rebuilt a few bridges I'd
burnt in the last year. I've re-established my value at work. I've met
some good people on the way, and (delightedly) made good pals with a lovely
girl, whom I must thank from the bottom of my heart for making me feel
energetic and positive about life. I want to thank each person around
me who believed in me and gave me another chance. I want to thank God
for giving me the will power to withstand everything life threw at
me, for my self-belief, for my passions.

All of the above - on the back of a heart-crushing Manchester United loss
to Barcelona, in the finals of the Champions League?! How Maverick?!

Well, yes. WE lost to a better team on the day. WE didn't have our best
line-up and strategy for a big game against a top team. WE lost a chance
to create history. But, WE STAND UNITED. MANCHESTER UNITED.

{Back to me and my life...}

I've felt grown up in this past year. I've wanted to fight all my battles
with Intelligence, Idealism and Heart. And fight others' battles too.
Now, I feel responsible for my dreams...for my surroundings...for my
abilities to change them. I want to be a part of 'the herd'...and yet,
be apart.

I know I have some important decisions to make in the coming months.
Tough ones. If anything, I feel up for them now. I have one life and
too many dreams, to be sitting on my butt letting 'the herd' dictate both!

For some reason, I loved 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button' a lot
and am trying hard to figure out why. A hidden chord has been struck.

Un-squashable Who?

2009-05-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I was a respectable squash player. Today, having reluctantly taken part in the State Open, I lost my first round meekly. There were no clenched fists, no thumping on the chest, no fire in the belly, no fire in the eyes, no admiration in the crowds.....................................

The fact that I used to make the ball scream to my tunes a few years back, doesn't matter.

The fact that, from dreaming of National Rankings in junior level squash in my country, today I din't even feel disappointed when losing to a - technically inferior, temperamentally inferior, physically inferior - but passionately regular player, does matter. A lot.

Football and Squash have been my life for the last 8-9 years. I've never been able to pick one, and passionately religiously follow it with dedication. It's always been a juggle. As a result, I've been good in both (at times brilliant...), but far from recognized in either as a star (locally). At best, I was a 'could-have-been-something' force...

As I haven't played regular squash in almost 3 years now and hadn't touched the racket for consecutive weeks even, in almost 5-6 months...I didn't go in with big expectations anyway. But...

I love the game. Wish to return to a respectable level once again in this lifetime. I will.

- Upset.

In The Hustle-Bustle of Life...O Life...

2009-05-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

Lately...

I've been reading Woody Allen's notes from the sets of 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' to my pals at home after 'downing' a couple of glasses of cheap port wine!

I've been trying to sell the ever so growing (hidden) benefits of Google AdWords to my clients, persuading them to spend that extra $ per day, per week, per month! All they do is - slash budgets. Ahem.

I've managed to 'bag' a promotion in these dire economic times! Uhhhh...so have 90% of my peers eligible for the same position. No-one's a better salesman than corporate managements! Of course, every pitch comes with an abundance of 'fine print' and 'disclaimers'. Ahem.

I've kept myself more updated about Manchester United...than (I guess) anyone at the club itself. Club website, espnstar.com, goal.com, telegraph.co.uk, redrants.com, redcafe.net, soccernet.espn.go.com, bla bla bla...

I'm often found wearing 3 layers of United these days. The jacket, the jersey/tee, and well, the heart. Lol.

India has managed a new government in the mean time. Having been rather involved with work these past few months, I haven't had my usual over-doze of things national & political. Pity. Though, seems like they didn't miss me much. They chose the Congress led UPA and BLOODY HELL I'M HAPPY that Advani will end his political career as...ahem. ahem. 'PM-in-waiting'! And I really really hope, so do Mayawati, Modi, Laloo, Jayalalitha....

Oh, I've registered for a local squash tourney (out of the blues!). What it did was send me pulling my hair out looking for some practice! I did, thanks to a highly respectable player (and friend). They say "nothing fuels passion like it's absence..."...so true.

I've decided to be a little more careful with my words for close ones. Special people come along once in a while. One musn't lose them to anything that can be remotely deemed non-special treatment. I sincerely confess - I care.

Amen.

PS - I could've had 6-7 dedicated posts for the above happenings. I could've been a 'blogaholic' by now. I'm not. Corporate work-ex teaches you to be clear & concise about your thoughts while communicating. Ahem.

BS. I will write more often and paint this blog wild with my imagination in the era ahead. Lol.

The Return...

2009-05-09T04:03:00.000-07:00

Been the longest break since I got regular on this blog. However, in line with the soul aim of starting this blog, I've returned - to talk to someone unknown.

Ironies have been the flavor of life lately. Work's been pretty hectic and satisfactory lately, but the workplace...(like most recession hit workplaces lately) has absolutely sucked! All I've been surviving on (thesedays) has been periodic dozes of {Manchester United + Weekends}. The prescription - one match of Manchester United mid-week, followed by, the weekend + a game of football + another match of Manchester United (on the weekend).

Don't worry, I'm stable at this minute...the weekend's here and I've seen United reach the finals of the biggest club football tournament in the world - The UEFA Champions League - this week. May 27, 2009. Can't wait...

Teflon Soul.

2009-03-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Dictionary: Tef·lon (tĕf'lŏn)
A trademark used for a waxy, opaque material, polytetrafluoroethylene, employed as a coating on cooking utensils and in industrial applications to prevent sticking.

During a long conversation with an aged German gentleman on one of my recent travels, I was introduced to this term (post title). The guy went on to elaborate how he thought that Indians had developed a 'Teflon Soul' over the past decades. Hah! We just end up taking everything coming our way in our stride and continue living our lives as if nothing happened. You know, the 'everybody says i'm fine!' syndrome.

He clarified that he'd meant this bit in a positive way. Despite all the troubles we Indians face as a - hypocrite and disparate society, as a 'by the politicians, for the politicians, of the politicians!' democracy, as a nation often suffering from it's celebrated cultural diversity, we seem to continue living our lives with a certain non-chalance. Nothing seems to stick or trickle deep within. We live through wars, draughts, poverty, disease, floods, earthquakes, communal riots, terrorist attacks. So teflon. Germans aren't so. My aged friend admitted that the average German took everything to heart, literally and emotionally. And therefore, rarely slept peacefully with the slighest possibility of trouble brewing close.

He then went on to point out the negative side. He said that when it comes to understanding a concept at school, an ideology in the society or the reason behind a public policy, we often fell short. Why? :) As a result of the same Teflon Soul; one which simply wishes to skim the surface or everything around, but doesn't wish to go a step further...an inch deeper. Well, here he pointed out a country he proudly claimed his own. As the inventor of BMW. Mercedes Benz. Germany, recognized as a scientific and technological leader in several fields. A country that has developed a high standard of living and established a comprehensive system of social security.

The thought has stayed with me. And leaves me uncomfortable each time it surfaces. I do not want to live a life without feeling. Fighting for change. Standing up for a better tomorrow.

Amen.

Ah, So We're Talking Freedom, Are We?

2009-03-07T05:58:00.000-08:00

What's your idea or definition or understanding of the term 'freedom'? I mean, at a personal level. Ever given it thought?

For starters, just the other day I happened to think about how things were moving around me and how I was reacting to them in the past few months, and I realized that freedom could be of 2 types - physical and emotional. While I haven't delved much on the subject of physical freedom and hence wouldn't speculate or chatter much about it, Emotional Freedom is a subject I have managed to gather some thoughts around.

Without debating the fact that these days, very few of us can confess to being more happy than not with our surroundings, I wish to explore the 'Why not?' bit of the situation. This thought process originated when someone asked me about my take on getting into a relationship again. I told them I wasn't thinking of one just yet because I'm really enjoying my emotional freedom for now.

It's not like I shun any outings or meetings or interaction with the opp. sex, just that I feel good about not having any emotional dependence or allegiance anywhere (for now). Feel light, full of energy and in control of my life these days.

Let me add here - mulling further on this subject I realized, one doesn't just need emotional freedom (a break, or more positively put - balancing and untangling, if I may say) from a love relationship, but from all 'relationships' in life. It could be family, friends, workplace, football team (!), whatever!

Being a very passion and emotion driven person, I've begun to understand that a lot of our (happiness and) unhappiness is because of our emotional dependence on a lot of the above factors. Sometimes, just detaching yourself and letting the above fade in the background really helps. I mean, the 'I'm ready for the worst case scenario' attitude often helps ease the mind. We're - scared of, hesitant to admit, suppressing our emotions, desperate to vent/react, submissive to - with regards to many a situations or people, everyday.

Emotional freedom certainly makes you wake up each day with a lot more intent and motive. Makes you want to go out and live your live, do your bit, talk your mind, make your point, run your mile...

Having faced innumerable ups and downs till today, I've begun to see clearly that it's all in the mind. It's all in our emotions. Your waking up, eating, drinking, talking, walking, communicating, thinking, sleeping...are all dependent on your emotional quotient (EQ as it's termed these days).

But then, everything comes at a cost we know. A little loneliness in return is often a trade-off one has got to make. You can term it 'me time' and make yourself feel better :)

I'll end by siting the typical example - a poor man with hardly anything to lose, and that too, not indispensable...sleeps a lot better.

I'm not saying give up attachments...I'm just exploring the idea of 'staying attached with constants, not variables!'

And the Reds Go Maching On, On, On!

2009-03-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

"Sir Bobby Charlton feels it is "crazy" to even think Manchester United could complete a clean sweep of five trophies."

I don't. My passion for Manchester United has slowly turned into obsession, with the dawn of what many people believe is United's finest team and era ever! In 2008, United were English Champions, European Champions, World Club Champions. F***, I LOOOOOOVE THEM.

This football season (Aug '08 to June '09), United is competing in 4 competitions, in addition to the Club World Cup victory in Japan, in Dec '08. Considering they won the Carling Cup, their 2nd trophy of the season, and are in the Quarter-finals of the FA Cup, Pre-quarters of the Champions League and on a potential 10 pt lead in the English League...(you SEE) we might just end the season with 5 trophies. We're the only team to have won the monumental 'Treble', in '99. 'Quintuple'...F***iiiiiiiiin' HELL!

So while everybody's busy collecting awards, there was a small article on espnstar.com on Sir Bobby Charlton and his contributions to the club, the game. It reads, "What is now a global phenomenon was just an ordinary football club when Charlton first joined. Yet through Matt Busby's Babes, Munich, Wembley 1968 and the current Ferguson era, United have become a monolith, known and acknowledged around the planet. And Charlton has been there through it all."

"A lot of people helped create Manchester United," he said. "I am just one person.

"But I love the city and I love its history. There is a work ethic about the people here that should be admired.

"Because of the success Manchester United have had, it is known all over the world.

"Billions of people watch my club play. It is just sensational.

"I wasn't bad at football. If that in just a small way helped more people get to know Manchester, I feel very humble and very proud."

On such nights, I tell myself - "There aren't too many places I can call home passionately. Being a die hard fan of 'The Godfather', all things Italian, and of Manchester United - I'd be happy to take my last breath of the slopes of Sicily...or in the stands of Old Trafford."

Amen.

Chit Chat.

2009-02-24T08:47:00.000-08:00

Hi Me,

Wassup?! Just wanted to blabber my thoughts from today and the last couple of days.

Been through some physical and mental turmoil. Football does all this to me. Add to it the fact that Manchester United (Yeeeesss, My MAN UTD!) plays Inter 'Ice Cold' Milan, in the freezing aura of the San Siro (Inter's Stadium), for the 1st Leg of the Pre Quarter-Finals of this year's Champion's League...is sending shivers down my spine and making the back of my neck sweat.

2 hours, 10 minutes to go (as I write these words)...

I feel the above on a day when I finally watched 'Requiem for a Dream' and after a freaking hour and a half, promised my soul...EVEN AT THE COST OF MY LIFE, I WON'T DO DRUGS. EVER.
Liked the background themes and soundtracks though. Must say it was well made, esp. with the effects and 'rewind-fast forward-switching' of the scenes.

Also, while my travelogue from a wonderful trip to Pondicherry last week is still 'in progress', I finally let go of the bliss of being 'cell-phone-less' for the past 4 days, by picking up my 3rd Sony Ericsson in the last...Guess? 4.5 years. What?! Hey, I'm a loyalist...it takes me time to move on (if at all) from something I've enjoyed happy times with. My first phone stopped working, my second (the absolutely adorable W810i) lies on the Pondi sea face buried under layers of rocks...

Anyway, that's that. I'm doing well on my resolution to finish all my unread novels before splurging on any new ones. Meenakshi Madhavan Reddy's 'You Are Here' was quite a quick and fun read. I enjoy novels which lighten my mood. It's the movies I take a lot more seriously. 'Revolutionary Road' sent me on a serious guilt trip! 'Valkyrie' was a classy thriller which kept me on the edge of my seat, guessing 'what next?!'.

And my room mate just wise-cracked "you know what?! it's a proven study that 2 hours in a mall are equal to 45 minutes of brisk walking (the fitness guru that he is!)"...to which a very shaky-bank-account owner, I, replied "and to one month's hard work. in financial terms, i.e."

I still believe 'Slumdog Millionaire' is highly overrated, from an Indian perspective at least. I certainly and triumphantly believe PENELOPE CRUZ IS GOD'S WORK OF ART. And an Oscar winner too...yaaay!

And I know, I will return more resolute to the football field...this time from an emotional outburst against my team and a sprained ankle. I will.

Cheers,
Me.

PS - Scarlett Johansson. Goddess. My maid servant (a what-do-i-say anyway, broke my long stemmed wine glass today :( ). Bitch!

Pondicherry. Don't (just) see it...feel it.

2009-02-17T10:09:00.000-08:00

After much planning and even more visits to Pondicherry related travel websites over the last couple of years, I finally fulfilled my long-standing wish and took a 3 day getaway to this multi-cultural town in coastal Tamilnadu.

Day 1. Je-suis Indienne ou Française?! (Am I Indian or French?!)

My bus landed here at 4 am rather than the expected 6 am! Empty streets greeted me in some random corner of the town and of course, I’d forgotten to carry a city map this time. Luckily, an auto was hanging around the bus stop and took me to my guest house - Aurodhan Krtashraya Garden.

My room was neat and decently equipped so I did what I needed to do right away…sleep like a log.

Woke up at 10ish. Called for my morning tea, set up the wifi connection, figured out what all there was to be done and what I wanted to do on day 1, put my map and research together in the back pack, and set afoot.

Incidentally the owner of the guest house and the chain of heritage properties, Lalit Verma, was leaving with me and offered to drop me at the perfect starting point…The Beach Road, sea facing, also known as Goubert Avenue. The waves and sea breeze had played their charm and I was in love with Pondi already! Walked for a bit and since I was really hungry, settled for lunch at 'Madame Shante', Rue Bussy. The place otherwise decent, my Maligtawny Soup and the Chicken Manchurian Sandwiches were good.

Over the next 9 hours, everything I'd heard about the town seemed less. I simply walked about the French Quarter admiring - the European streets, the (french) architecture, the predominantly foreign crowds, small little arts and crafts shops and lovely boutiques here and there, and F&B sit outs. I saw the Notre Dame Church, the Pondi Museum with some fine French furniture and sculptures, and Roman age remains from the port Arikamedu. Spent some time at the calm and serene Aurobindo Ashram.

Roamed about till I reached the Aurodhan Art Gallery, where I was treated to nice contemporary Indian art and a particularly striking book on photography in Kashmir, by Rajesh Parikh.

Took a break and sat sipping the refreshing Lemon Ice Tea at Le Café (by the sea) and reading my ChicLit novel. Resumed my strolling about the buzzy Rue Suffren, Rue Bussy area and then chanced upon this wonderful upmarket Home Furnishing (& everything arty) place called ‘Vibe’. A couple of grand blown up and I was walking away with a nice sky blue linen shirt and some fabulous home collectibles! Unmissable for it's variety, colors, feel...for it's 'Vibe'!

Narrow dim lit cobbled streets and tree shadows adding to the charm were the flavor of the day. Dinner time, I chose to go with world opinion, 'Rendezvous' it was. French Onion Soup + Pepper n Cheese Toasts + Veg Au Gratin + Choc. Mousse. The roof top was packed with European families and their friends, the odd Indian too. Amazing food, decently priced…what a day!

Returned to my room by 10:30 pm, absolutely smothered by the French flavour and the laid back feel of the city.

Day 2. Cycling Around.

Hehe, left my room around 12 noon after a good night's sleep and hit Mission Street. The mission was to see the city in zones and save time while ticking everything off the zonal map bit by bit. Hired a cycle at 40 bucs for the day. Ate lunch at 'Surguru', perfect for a single person as it offers you the whole South Indian variety and some good Thali options. 'Casablanca' on Mission St. is a nice place for all round branded shopping. The Lindt choc. and Hidesign leather collections stood out.

Passed a big book sale in the heart of the town and chose to spend some time reading back covers and admiring front covers. Mission St. was more or less done. After cycling about a bit on Rue Bussy, seeing the busy road go about its business, I finally headed for my favorite part of town - Rue Suffren. The Arts and Crafts stores (Nirvana and Pondi Cre'art) there along with the Fab India outlet were a lovely treat. There's just so much creativity in those stores, and girls can go crazy shopping bohemian bags and tops/kurtis etc. Guys, you'd have to have a really penchant for art and craft to be enamoroured by the stuff on offer...

The Alliance Francaise opp. the stores was a nice and quiet break avenue for me. I just sat around for a bit, looked at the general structure and programes on offer and left as discreetly as I'd entered. Next up was some wine and liquor hunting ;-) Coming out of Rue Suffren onto the Southern Boulevard, I saw a couple of wine stores (one being Top Notch) offering a good variety of Indian and imported liqour. Some exotic Vodkas and French/Spanish wines await you here.

A few metres of cycling and I was at one end of the Beach Rd. clicking the statue of (Frenchman) Joseph Francois Dupleix, ablest Governer of Pondi. I was begining to tire a bit by now, a little time sitting by the sea here, listening to music was ideal ! What was better, was returning to Le Cafe for my evening drink, mind pouring over my novel. Try the Hibiscus Soda here. Refrrrrresshiiing!

As I rode on like a little school kid excited about finishing his home work and going for his evening game with friends...I absolutely surrendered to the relaxed and carefree feel of the beautiful French Quarter of Pondi!

At dinner, I overcame my hesitation to enter a popular French/Italian restaurant here, 'Satsanga', to experience culinary bliss in my 'Chicken in Red Wine Sauce + Steamed Rice + Mashed Potatoes'. Yuuummmy! The hesitation was because the place had canopies and was candle-lit and I was the only person there without a friend, partner or family there. Bah, who cared!

On my return ride, I stopped over at Krishna sweets for some Kaju Burfi (love it!), extended my cycle hire by another day and reached my room by 10 ish. Watched 'Revolutionary Road' in my room, before snoozing off. Brilliant film. Even better day.

Day 3. You gain some, you lose some.

The day began well, with a sumptuous Salami, Ham, Sausage laden 'Royal Pizza' at 'La Terrasse'. Next, signed up for a half day tour of Auroville + Auro Beach and sat around waiting for my bus to arrive. Ahem ahem - while 'sitting around' on the rocks facing the eastern waters, I dropped my phone and saw it spiral down layers of big boulders :(

My once prized possession...RIP.

Some foreigners on the tour with me saw me - drop it, get frantic and finally give up on it - and said "hey, there was a time people survived without cell phones young man!". Frankly, within an hour, I was done with mulling over my phone-less situation. Called up Dad and told him I'm fine and unreachable for now!

The trip to Auroville (about 10 km outside Pondi) was nice and insightful. Not only because of the 'attain peace and harmony here' theme in Auroville, but because of the talks I had over 3-4 hours with this aged German gentleman and Welsh lady. We talked cultures, lifestyles, travels, generations etc. Memorable experience.

Back in town around 6 pm, I had 3 hours to cycle about. After a bit, I sat down for an Iced Americano coffee with the national dailies at the coffee.com outlet at this classy hotel called 'Touskil Fo' on Rue Romain Rolland. Make sure you add a lot of sugar (syrup) to this drink if you're not a regular and don't want a coffee shock!

As evening passed, it began to sink in that my rendezvous with Pondi was almost through. With very fond memories, I packed up, ate a cheap dinner near my bus stop, and peacefully headed back towards metropolitan madness.

If you're reading this, go to Pondi. Give time a break!

Hello Hello.

2009-02-16T05:11:00.000-08:00

Life's been really really mixed lately. I've been picked on for being too negative at times...and yet, too positive all the time. The difference - my negativity surfaces during days at work, and days in Hyd. My positivity oozes out when on leave, in Bangalore, with school pals, eating and drinking well, dreaming all day long!

Some of us (school mates/pals) got together in Bangalore this past weekend to attend a friend's wedding and reception. It was at the same venue we used to frequent in our school ties and football shorts, about 8 years ago. RSI Bangalore. I'm still trying hard to believe we've come such a long way...and (nostalgically) got together at the same place and stage where we used to dance and fool around as school kids, this time for a picture with 'the couple'. The bride, our friend...my god, I almost had tears of joy seeing her all dressed up and taking this wonderful step ahead in life. Aahh, once-in-a-lifetime moment!

There's something special about meeting up with these guys man. Every good-bye hug...be it for the day or for the next few months...lingers on those few moments longer, assuring that solidarity and sanctity of the bond.

Every drink together has been fun, every meal a pleasure. Have watched some lovely feel-good movies with special pals. 'Love Actually' and 'He's Just Not That Into You'. At such times, Jeniffer Anniston's smiles make you smile, her tears make your eyes go wet.

Simple question to Brad Pitt - Why?

As I embark on a 3 day (solo!) trip to Pondicherry, all jittery and anxious about going to an unknown place all by myself...it feels good that I've started following my heart these days, doing whatever gives me peace, makes me feel good about life.

I just hope and pray every human around does the one thing we often hold back on, without realizing that this one thing makes us human. So go ahead - 'express yourself'. Listen to that inner voice.

- (This is not an Airtel Commercial! :P)

Monday. Not my favorite.

2009-02-02T09:55:00.001-08:00

Certainly not after the kind of dream weekends I've been having. I've always wished I led the life of a footballer and sincerely thank God for giving me a whiff of it in recent times. Happily or sadly...only on weekends. I'm only sad cos life sucks at work during weekdays.

Especially on the back of a typical weekend - Wake up at 6-6:30 am. Hit the grass by 7-7:30 am. Play your heart out till 10-11ish and get back home with orgasmic pleasure! Next hour or so goes over the newspaper with juice and knick-knacks. Follow it with a long HOT water shower...aaahhh, soothing. A heavy lunch at a favorite economical urban dhaba comes next. Probably catch up on a movie on my laptop lying between my pillows lazily on the bed...before crashing to a couple of hours of a blissful siesta. English Football League games with good food and the odd drink make up the evenings. Read. Sleep.

I would like to believe that's the closest I'll get to being a footballer. Love being spent and slow after a game, nursing every little pain and hurt to my muscles. Gives me a sense of acheivement :)

Anyway, today was a particularly painful Monday at work. No, no-one said anything to me and I didn't screw up anywhere myself, but, for some reason I simply hated my job and my workplace. Wanted to put in my papers. Felt like a slave, like I was losing precious moments of my life.

Thankfully, things don't remain as bad, when Ms. Michigan is your colleague and is gracing the treadmill when you hit the gym. Oooo yeah! A good workout, followed by a good dinner, followed by a Dairy Milk bar at room temperature (mmmelting in your mouth). Just about saved the day eh.

But the thought of going to office tomorrow pisses me off. I'm a free thinker. I need some mental space. And no, not even Google can spare me that. Damn this corporate struggle!

Public? Politicians? Who's Going to Lead the Change?!

2009-01-27T21:23:00.001-08:00

I've been engaging in some healthy debates with pals and fellow citizens across online communities on Public Policy/International Affairs/Counter-terrorism in the past couple of months and have really upped the tempo on my interest and pursuits of getting a good understanding on the subjects. Below I've shared my views across the internet on some burning issues:

In response to a debate on weather the Indian Army is motivated anymore to give the Jihadis a befitting reply to the recent Mumbai attacks, I said
"My worry is that once again the public of this country talks of the military option with discomforting ease. I come from the army background, and while I know every soldier dreams of fighting in a war (despite fear of losing his life when actually facing the enemy bullet…he’s human, don’t forget)…he has every right to be demoralized when the ignorant public of this country and the scumbag politicians expect him to put his life on the line for them.

Lets sort out the - Bureaucracy. Governance. Foreign Policy on Alignment with US/Israel school of thought. Situations of the Minorities (read Muslims) in India. Kashmir Issue. The Modis/Thackerays.

Then we’ll talk of sacrificing the duty bound soldier. Till then suffer and learn. Shame. Pity.

While I’m equally angry with the attacks on my homeland and fellow citizens, I’m more embarrassed seeing the way this nation is being run and the people who run it."

On another discussion dealing with the possible (aging, hopeless) candidates who could take over the PM's mantle in the coming Lok Sabha elections, I said
"Ahem ahem. I don’t know which generations you all are from…but I’m 25 yrs old and certainly echo my generations thoughts in saying that every politician mentioned in this post and comments should simply go to hell. Die. Or shot dead even.

I feel ashamed in sharing the ‘Indian’ tag with these dying senile corrupt illiterates. For heaven sake can we think of someone beyond them. Someone YOUNG, EDUCATED, DYNAMIC, MENTALLY SANE, and WITHOUT MAJOR NATIONAL CONTROVERSIES against his name. Does Indian governance have no Obama?!

If these fools have experience, let them share it…if needed, it’ll be heard by the new generation. It’s time for a change. The thought of seeing any of these old hags becoming the next PM makes me sick, makes me revolt, makes me want to leave this country to its current pathetic state. And dare someone blame me for it!

Any hope?"

What followed was a surprise email from the initiator of the above discussions asking me to help him start a debate, but in a less abusive, well thought out manner. My response to the few questions he asked, should be my next post :)

Stay tuned...

Think Different?

2009-01-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

Nothing here is my own. Not the pics, video or words. But all of them struck a very deep chord within, at different points in time. Hence I decided to bring them all together on my post.

The famous 'apple' ad -

With the following 'godly' text -

"Here's to the Crazy Ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing that you can't do, is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or, sit in silence and hear a song that hasn't been written?
Or, gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world,
are the ones who do."

http://lib.store.yahoo.net/lib/redlightrunner/thinkdifferent.mov
The Video of the above campaign.

- All of the above by a company whose brilliance was a brainchild of

Some 'tea talk':

The "Here's to the Crazy Ones..." lines used in the Apple "Think Different" campaign is sometimes attributed to Jack Kerouac, perhaps because it evokes his famous quote from On the Road:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across
the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

I liked the above lines and thought they were worth treasuring too.

- Steve Jobs fan.

"I'm a European soul..."

2009-01-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

A scan of my mind right now would be the usual Sunday morning thought-overdrive!

ajdfkjda&*&^##@%^&ajdfkjdsakjf... Ok, lets decode it :-)

So while 'The Great Indian Novel' by Mr. Shashi Tharoor has me pendulating between the grandeur (and politics) of Indian Mythology (Mahabharata) and the inspirational (yet woeful) sagas of Modern Indian History (the freedom struggle), I've been thinking of formulating a football team of my all time favorite players. It's a tough choice for a fanatic like me to balance bias and true admiration. And yet it's almost on my finger tips...

But then, Penelope Cruz movies set in Barcelona with Spanish guitars in the background have me...dumbfounded. moved. enthralled!

Consuella Castillo...can't get over the name man!

It's funny, how Penelope leaves something of her's in me each time I see her, or her performances. While I'm still relishing the afternotes of Consuella Castillo's (Penelope) and Ben Kingsley's passionate love story 'Elegy', I was treated to another Spanish delight in Woody Allen's 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' last night. I mean, after a long day, a grand dinner, beer gathering and 1 am return...if someone could've kept me awake till 3 am (!!!)...only Penelope with her worth-dying-for accent, just-out-of-bed look, wandering about in Barcelona (pic below) and spanish guitar adding the finishing touches, could.

And while I choose not to mar another post dedicated (mostly) to this timeless ageless beauty with those sweaty screaming footballers (as my thoughts initially suggested), I must add that this movie (VCB) was a lot about Rebecca Hall and Scarlett Johansson (looking lovely?! and) finding their "European souls" and painfully trying to balance it with their mundane lives.

Particularly, Scarlett (Cristina) feeling like "an expatriate, not one who's smothered by puritanical and materialistic American views, but rather a creative, artistic European soul...seeing a chance to express her tragic romantic free-thinking view of life."

Hoping, one day I'll be able to walk the streets of Spain carelessly. Stop at a corner to listen to a lover serenade his guitar, or at a bar to taste some local wine, and swivel with a smile to the senorita that passes by...

Signing off with - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHU-AJTn0I8

adiós!

What. Has. The. World. Come. To...

2009-01-11T01:30:00.000-08:00

Israel (for now) -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa1LwuS4lhw

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN6_OxOXVXM

Former Israeli Soldiers (Phew!). Orchestrated by the Israeli Government (#$%&). They say, "We're trying to change the Israeli image...". Like this? What the f***?!

Of course, I have a lot of thoughts on the issue, for now I'm myself enjoying what I see!

Holy land (if you're reading International news...holy crap!).

Post #50 !

2009-01-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

FYI (For Your Information) -
Wikipedia says, "A blog (a contraction of the term "Web log") is a web site, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.

Scientists have long known the therapeutic benefits of writing about personal experiences. Blogs provide another convenient avenue for writing about personal experiences. Research shows that it improves memory and sleep, boosts immune cell activity and reduces viral load in AIDS patients and even speeds healing after surgery."

I thought of a few things to write in this 50th post of mine. Couldn't chose anything over the topic 'blogging' itself.

Its funny how I was required to have a website by my workplace to understand the product I work for, and hence ended up creating my blog and ensured the one necessary post was up. I'd chosen Alessandro Del Piero as the topic back then (:-)) and had simply picked up most of the data from Wikipedia with a little bit from here and there to make a post out it. My next post came almost a couple of years later (mid 2008) and ever since I've been quite regular.

It's the second need for writing a post which I feel is centric to the whole blog revolution. The need to express oneself. To say things to someone when you don't have anyone to talk to. The need to gather all your thoughts and give them a structured form. The need to treasure your memories so that years later, you can look back and relive them fondly. The need to share your feelings/experiences with others.

My posts and blog have received appreciation from friends and family, but I firmly maintain, I write for myself. Only. I'm happy that others enjoy my words and I sincerely hope I can write better with each passing day for my own sake, and in turn for their sake. Also, I believe a blog post should be a balance between personal and share-able content (and language).

Being a social person, I'm OK with known or unknown people reading about me and my life. I don't think there's much in a human's life that can't be shared with another (sane, compassionate) human. Of course, we have to take a position of maturity before getting concerned about the possibility of someone unwanted reading our blog content. I'm not publishing Government or Military secrets anyway!

I'm a thinker, and constantly feel the urge to pen down my feelings and thoughts about a variety of subjects around me. Coming from the Generation-O(nline), I found blogging an easy way of doing so.

It gives me peace and a sense of security seeing my thoughts and experiences recorded somewhere. It allows people close to me to better know me, understand me. Oh, and it does improve my language and writing skills (wht wit tis sms gen takg ctrl nwdyz!).

Note - Touch typing at more than 50 words-per-minute helps. ;-)

2008...

2009-01-02T10:03:00.001-08:00

Hehe...just the thought of that year and I almost shudder. Mom thinks I've come a long way...or (have I) gone too far away?! Sure have a bunch of grey hair saying "we came in 2008!". And yet...I look into the mirror with a stronger self-belief, will power, saying "hell yeah, been there...done that...came out +ve!". Strong words eh...

So as I sit down on this wonderful second day of 2009, listening to a song I dedicate to everyone who stood by me in tough-2008-times, I croon "jaaaaane kyuuuun, dil janta hai...tu hai toh I'll beeee aaalrite..." :-).

Not like I ushered into 2008 with a lot of hope or cheer. Frankly, last new year's eve sucked. And I was equally responsible for it. Then came fab News of me going to Sydney, Australia on a company sponsored trip for 3 months! Probably the last peice of good news for a long time last year...haha. A month after returning from Down Under I wasn't sure WHAT the f*** hit me man. Phew...guess it was the realization that I'm from a country far from developed, in an economy and under a (corporate) management still sucking up to our Dollar/Sterling/Euro wielding cousins, and had dragged a relation (and fellow human) so far that it was always going to hurt me in return (and how?!).

Personal, professional, social lives were in the dumps. Freakin' back was broken...every kick on the football hurt. What was unbearable was the feeling of a being a loser. Of letting this lousy world mishandle my intelligence, idealism, dreams. Love lost, respect lost...I was a sinking ship alrite.

Matter of time, before such phases turn around, eh? A deep fading voice within kept reminding me to hang in there. I did.

Thanks 2008, you taught me a lot. You taught me that one's own hapiness should always come first. You taught me, intelligence and idealism are best reserved for the intelligent and idealistic. You taught me, one may go down 'cos of other factors...but one can go out only 'cos of one's own self. You taught me the value of family and friends. You taught me to respect mankind and love (noun) and love (verb)(woman kind :P hehe, I'm single again man!). You taught me that travelling, photography and blogs can make fantastic companions in an otherwise lonely world. You taught me to be more compassionate and count one's blessings. You taught me there was magic in theatre and plays.

And I shall remember 2008 for my return to the football field. Manchester United winning every big club level trophy there was to be won. For my gut-less office (mis)management taking it's own sweet time to realize what a rat ship they're running. For my own fighting spirit. For the Mumbai terror attack (and the rage boiling within me ever since).

However, a fab end to the year I had. Bangaaaaalore, I looooove youuuu! Spoilt for choice with family, school/college/office pals to enjoy with...2008 had indeed come a long way buddy. Ate my heart out and drank my wits dry (?!). Befittingly, I chose to head to an office pals house party...in a unknown area, with (mostly) unknown people. And while I had two good pals along...seeing the host enjoying a reunion like party with his gang left me smiling at life. This new year's I was going to keep it simple...no noisy, crowded, headline grabbing parties...rather a simple bar-b-q with people who epitomized the bonds of f'ship and ushered the festive spirit into my heart!

What co-incidence then - today when I watched Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in 'Australia', an epic film which took its viewers from herds of cows to Japanese warplanes...I came out of the theatre smiling, reminded once again that that trip didn't go waste after all.

2009, I don't know what you're gonna throw at me. And, I don't care! I come at you knowing what makes me happy and that I will go all out in ensuring that no one plays with my dreams and desires. I come at you knowing that as much as you may corner me, I will find my own comfort zone on this planet. And no one, no one, can take that away from me. I, come at you, knowing that I will not only live my life to the fullest but in fact, suck the marrow out of it too.

Amen.

PS - Apart from being a celebrated shopaholic of my generation in the Indian markets, in 2008, I also contributed to the American, British and Australian retail industry. Mmmm...I'd rather wear Ralph Lauren, than see my investments evaporate in a financial meltdown!

Books, books, books...babadoobadoo!

2008-12-30T01:02:00.001-08:00

Yaaay! This one's been a looong time coming. Bournvita Quiz Contest Theme (Post Title) and my mom forcibly fitting 'reading time' into my daily routine when I was kid are my oldest memories of books. Today I believe, while reading is one of the best habbits mankind could ever indulge in, being forced to read something you don't like or simply 'have' to, is the worst punishment my brain could be subjected to. Yes, I can say so because I used to finish novels in 2-3 days in an effort to avoid reading those Engineering Text Books!

I wouldn't say I'm the most well read person around, rather, far from it. But I'd like to get there, even if I'm 60 years (young) when I attain that title! :-) However, talking of reading, I've had some intense phases in my life and then complete blackouts. (Sitting on a 12 day visit to my hometown Bangalore for an year end visit,) currently, I'm right in the midst of the former!

I knew this post was a certainity the moment I entered the famous Blossoms Bookstore on Church St. (B'lore) the other day...finally, after years of walking past it and exclaiming it's name. Will come back to this in a para or two.

Since life had decided to test me in 2008 with many an ecstacies and anguishes, I decided to take my step off the pedal for a bit...and of course cut down a lot on my socializing, shopping etc (and soon came recession time!). Reading, then, was my best pal, and my biggest investment in the past few months. However, along with that my list of 'so-wish-to-read, bought-it, yet-to-read' books grew too. And that list sends me on a real guilt trip because one often loses the interest levels with which you buy a book, if you don't read it immediately.

I must mention here my utter contempt for people who love growing that list simply like a Page-3 personality's wardrobe. I mean, (no offence meant but...) I would hate to buy a book simply because 'it's considered/I've heard it's' good...and then leave it to gather dust on my bookshelf. Of course, everytime someone comes home, or talks about the book, 'they' will happily show-off/claim possession of the book! Piss off.

Admitted, I was guilty of the above act ocassionally, though never in the buying of the book, but certainly in the 'leaving it unread on the shelf but boasting of it's possession' bit. And hence, despite wanting to buy some great works by my favorite authors the other day in Blossoms (I had close to ten titles in my basket), I punished myself by not buying a single one and instead promised myself to religiously finish reading the wonderful unread stories waiting on my shelf. Redemption.

It's a pity when I see people buying books as a show piece item and then quickly 'reading' through them within a couple of days to satisfactorily tick off the name on their wishlist! Haha...c'mon man, respect it/them. I love doing some research on books (and movies for that matter) before investing my time and money into them. Hardly ever picked up an unknown author, more scarcely, an unknown title. Impulse shopping is best left for partywear :-)

I felt real bad the other day when I was at the John Le Carre section and realized I didn't remember which of his books I'd read and which ones I hadn't. 2 reasons - he is a master at a specific subject (international espionage) so his books aren't very different from each other, and I'd read a lot of his novels out of fever pitch interest a few years ago, one after the other. Now they all seem familiar and unfamiliar going by the back cover review. Oops.

Anyway, I have a new found admiration for an author whose writings have often been dismissed as too shallow, routine, and not being a collector's item. Chetan Bhagat. Yes, I'd read his '5 Point Someone' in a few hours without a break back in college days, and really enjoyed it. I classify such books as 'fun read' and 'building the flow' books. Couple of years back I ignored the second of his novels 'One Night @ The Call Center' because I'd graduated to more intense reading and only the very highly recommended books. Of course, bad reviews in the market helped. How come then, I'm a fan suddenly?

Well, last night I finished reading his third novel, 'The 3 Mistakes Of My Life'...in quick time. And realized why I will never ridicule him again. Its simple, as Chetan himself puts it - he writes so that the generally novel-reading averse masses of India read (his simple, popular subjects) at an affordable price. God bless.

With that I shall end my writing on reading and get back to reading on writing! Hehe...If I'd been reading Shashi Tharoor's 'Bookless In Baghdad' (on my 'to buy' list), that line would've been apt!

Some facts:

In case you're wondering what's on my bedside currently - The English Patient, The 3 Mistakes Of My Life, Media Control (Chomsky) and The Great Indian Novel.

Authors I'd read almost-blindly - Mario Puzo, John Le Carre, Salman Rushdie, Shashi Tharoor, Noam Chomsky. But how can I 'read' blindly? Forget it (:P).

I almost feel responsible for knowing something on everything around, cos I work for the all knowing/knowledge-providing Google!